i am alive

i am only able to blog this early morning due to the fact that i am currently in my sister's guest room spending the night after an hour of decorating her new 12 foot christmas tree. fun huh?

i am really sad that i have had no really big events happen in my life to report. thanksgiving was fine. i ate some really good turkey and a delicious pie that i made and played mario party with my 2 brothers for about 4 hours. a newly decided tradition among the single asay kids. to each their own...right. then i was up at 3:45 the next morning...black friday. not to shop as most would think, but to get ready and drive back to work in american fork at 5:30! we opened our doors at 6:OO am and it was a very very very long day needless to say. and then i came home, fell asleep, missed a friends reception and bought a carton of ice cream for the first time in a long time. it was a crazy day.

i really have not done anything exciting as of late. a week or so ago i met up with my friend rachael and we went to hear a band that her friend was in. first of all it was in some garage type thing that we had to crawl under the half opened door to get in. second i was freezing cause i was getting sick and kept my coat on the entire time with my {gloved} hands jammed into my pockets. and finally, i felt like i was in high school! the crowd was so lame. i felt as if i had never left utah county. somehow all the provo hipsters had followed me! i am so over life right now. anyway, after running into a few people that we knew i was ready to leave. then we proceeded to rachael's boyfriends house and watched a movie with his mom, sister and brother in law! i mean for real, i thought we graduated from high school. please tell me that you agree that this is a little abnormal...just a little.

oh and my old friend aubrey just had her 3rd litle boy. 3 kids! wow, that is just too crazy to comprehend! but congrats to her and her adorably precious family!



i have been thinking a lot about choices.

it makes me so sad how some people can make seemingly insignificant choices, yet they end up becoming monumental changes in their lives. whether it's not going to church on sunday after years of membership, or someone choosing not to call you. the choices made affect more than just you. we have become such a selfish species. we think so highly of ourselves to think that we are the masters of our own destinies. but we should know and remember that there is a much bigger hand playing a part in this dance we call life and we also need to pay attention to those toes we are stepping on as we drunkenly waltz across the dance floor. why do we throw away everything we have believed and lived our whole lives...just to be accepted or loved? there is a beauty in patience. just because it hasn't worked out yet...doing things the right way, doesn't mean to give up and waltz to the deep end. choice is a powerful thing, and a privilege. that is why all you can do is stand by and be a beacon of light when they decide to drift back to reality. if they ever do. sometimes the choices are irreversible and ties are cut. it's weird to think how you can care so much about someone, and then they are gone. never to be heard from or seen again. life is a funny game we play. we all picked our players and we all get the chance to pass go for a second, third or even fourth chance. i am not perfect and have made plenty of bad choices, but they have brought me to who i am today and right now...i'm not complaining. i am who i am because of all my choices whether they are good or bad. there in lies the beauty of it all.

finger condoms

i have been a huge slacker when it comes to blogging. i really need to update this more often. since wednesday night i have been watching my sister's twins, jane and sadie. they are just shy of 15 months and quite the handful! i really don't understand how people handle twins without a nanny! holy cow is all i have to say. last night i fell asleep on the couch watching tlc's say yes to the dress {which is my new favorite show} at 8:30 pm. on a freaking friday night! who does that. a girl taking care of toddler twins that's who.

mischeviously sweet jane. she'll make you think she is good...then BAM, she is pulling all your clothes out of you overnight bag and throwing them around the room!

sensitively crazy sadie. she is a rough and tumble gal, but has such a tender heart. i can't help but laugh when i get her out of her crib in the morning, she is so happy!

i really have loved spending so much time with these sweet little girls this weekend. but i am sure grateful their mom and dad come home tomorrow! they have been in disneyland for this little one's birthday!

that's right, it's halle's birthday once again. she is six years old and as hilarious as ever. her voice is the most high pitched ever when you talk to her on the phone, especially while she is at her princess birthday dinner. i think while we were on the phone ariel came to her table, which was obviously more important than talking to me so i finished our convo through her mom. i love this kid and can't believe how old she is! when i moved down here to nanny she was just a month older than the twins and i can't believe how time has flown. she will forever be one of my best buds!


i think i'm getting sick

i am blogging to you from my sister's house! i am loving the quiet of her sleeping house. i am also really loving her keyboard. it is the kind that makes the clicky noise as you type so you sound like you are typing way faster than you actually are. i love when i sound like i am typing fast.
i really just wanted to tell you all a little story of how i saw what i am most certain was a drug deal on thursday night. i had plans to meet my friend rachael at a bar called the bayou in downtown salt lake city. as i turned the corner from the bar and parallel parked...yes i can parallel park, all thanks to marianne moon on the driving range sophomore year...i noticed across the street from me a man that looked a little suspicious. he had longer dark hair that was curly. a lot of facial hair. he was wearing a dark top with camo cargo shorts and had something slung over his shoulder. upon further inspection it looked like a long gun case. sketchy. and as i glanced over in his direction he looked at me and i freaked out. i called rachael and no answer...while i was calling her i imagined him crossing the street and shooting me, which never happened. anyway...he was talking to some guy in a beat up old rabbit and i looked over just as his hand went into the car and then back out and directly into his coat pocket. yep...a drug deal. so this isn't even the weirdest part of the story. the guy in the car gets out and he is a taller guy with a windbreaker like my dad used to wear, jeans and a baseball cap. he gets out and they start talking. then a tow truck comes down on my side of the street, pauses in front of these guys and continues to drive. weird. then a little subaru pulls up and a guy in a hoodie and shorts with a bald head gets out of the driver side and then a man in a long leather coat with a cowboy hat gets out of the passenger side. a weird assortment of acquaintances if you ask me. well baldy goes up to the guy in the windbreaker shakes his hand and the windbreaker dudes immediately slides his hand in his jacket pocket after and then just as quickly removes it...another drug deal maybe? who knows. so this is where the story gets good i promise. the tow truck had pulled a u turn and was back in front of the group of men! at this point the creepy guy with what i still assume is a gun, starts taking off down the street. the cowboy hat guy comes around to the driver side of the tow truck, talks to him for a little while, and then the tow truck drives off, the two guys get back in the subaru and drive off and then the windbreaker guy starts walking off in the direction of the gun guy. leaving his car! i don't know what really went on, but this all happened in like a span of 8 minutes and just seems a little weird. maybe i just watch too many scary crime shows and my imagination just runs wild sometimes, but it was a little unsettling to watch right outside my car. the rest of the night was awesome because the bayou has some of the best food i have ever had! their hummus is amazing and i don't even like hummus! if you need a place to chill with some smooth in house jazz and some delish food...check out the bayou on state street.
i am a little late in doing this, but i just want to wish my older brother matt and my good friend jen and happy birthday yesterday! matt turned 26 and jen turned 25...i can't believe the i will be 25 next june! that is so freaking crazy and i am stressing just a little bit about that. i mean that is like a quarter of a century!



dear blog...

i am sorry for my long long long absence in the blogging world. i have no excuse other than i have been really busy and the lack of internet in my humble apartment makes it a little difficult to post anything. as of late i have been working my little tail off, not running, and not spending any money which has been hard. i miss running more than i miss spending money. looking at my bank account balance has been an actual pleasant experience! you haven't missed out much on my life unfortunately. i went to flaming gorge again. i went out with jw again. i found a new love in frozen yogurt...yummy! i have fallen in love with Smart Cookie's sugar cookie! i went there today and as i was leaving the parking lot of work i felt like i was cheating on Paradise. i mean their cookies are good, but really Smart Cookie has got the sugar cookie thing down to a t! god bless Smart Cookie! Shade has come out with a lot of cute things that i have been purchasing in moderation. i have been thinking about my Halloween costume and have been drawing a big gigantic blank! i mean last year i was Oprah! how can you get much better than that? if you have any suggestions, please send them my way. i bought a new kitchen table and 4 chairs from Craig's List for just $50! i am going to repaint and reupholster and hopefully it will be a fun 'before and after' post down the road. well i am thinking that my luck with the wireless internet gods have ran out, so i will bid you adieu and farewell. despite my absence, i still love you and will be back soon...

yours truly



dear mrs. grewal

dearest kc.

i am writing to inform you that this lovely evening here in pleasant grove, i went to the local macey's grocery store to pick up a few items for a bonfire that i would be attending later this evening. upon heading to the deli for a 'kong kone' with my friends i was drawn to a very familiar scent...my nose led me to the baked goods. i perused the selection of bakery divineness and stumbled upon an old friend. macey's bakery chocolate chip cookies. you may remember the frequency at which we would consume these cookies. i believe that we both had at least 4 in one day...pre cleanse. i bought them for old times sake and already tonight have eaten 4 cookies. if you would like i could mail you some...but i do believe that part of their goodness is the fresh factor. they are just a chewy and gooey as ever. i do miss you terribly and wish that you could be here to enjoy them as well. give my love to your folks and your one and only. hope to see you soon.

all my love,

ps i know that divineness isn't a word, but i really wanted to say that.


such a great day

my little sister called me today to tell me that she has been .75 credits away from getting her high school diploma...a fact that we all knew a year ago when we all told her to finish her stupid packets. whilst i was talking to her i was making my meager turkey sandwich on whole grain bread...supposedly it is healthy for you...i was slicing some cheese and somehow in my distracted state of being on the phone, i made my entire block of cheese fall on to my kitchen floor. the sad thing is that it cost a lot of money and i was only half way through the block! i was devastated and may or may not have cussed, and then had to discard my freaking cheese! it's times like this, that make me think my life is more like a movie than i give it credit for. i can't tell you how many times i throw my hands in the air and utter...these kinds of things only happen in the movies. it happens a lot.

i realized the other day that i don't post nearly as many pictures as i probably should. but you know what...i don't really have the patience to do so. so you have to just deal with reading my ramblings on my deepest inner thoughts. you're welcome. i will however remember to post what i have planned to wear tomorrow when i journey to lagoon for a day of fun in the sun with the asay clan...sans james and toni. i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am for this event. i have been wanting to go to lagoon all summer, but when i found out it cost almost as much as 2 weeks of groceries, i had to draw the line somewhere. so thanks to my little brother schmo, we have discount tickets and it will only cost me one week of groceries...i think i can handle that. i will just eat every meal at my sister's house next week...it will be okay, i did it for 4.5 years already. she likes it.

one more thing before i go...

fall launches at shade clothing on the 20th of august. that's this thursday. i already have my eye on about $500 worth of merchandise...and yes that is after my discount. so needless to say, maybe there will be multiple weeks of no groceries. and maybe no gas. i can walk to work.


sunlight...and soccer games.

...sounds of summer fill my ears
if i live ten thousand years
i'll never feel as good as this
moments before our first kiss...

...simple things turn magical
minutes freeze like popcicles
and drip their seconds down our shirts
i love you so much it hurts...

i am pretty sure that mason jennings is a genius.

thanks jw. lonestar tacqueria was amazing


so guess what

i cut my hair.
9 inches just gone.
9 freaking inches no longer on my head.
here are a few pictures.

i know i am a little vain, but hey i am still getting used to the short factor.


like the darkness between the butterflies

last night when i was 'camping' up at mutual dell, after we had saran wrapped mike, andrew and tyler in their pop up camper {more to come on this topic}, we were lying on the grass and looking at the stars i realized that i really haven't taken that time to enjoy summer this year. i have missed so many clear nights to star gaze and hear the crickets chipping. i have ignored the warm gentle summer breeze as i am outside. and i haven't had nearly as many smore's as i know that i could have. the point is that i think i got too busy for summer this year. i hate that i have to work full time and not take a break for a weekend camping excursion. not like i am a huge camper or anything, but just being outside makes me feel good sometimes.

as i was standing in a clearing last night waiting for dinner to be ready {rather than help} i looked up and saw nothing but green leaves and clear blue sky, i heard the chatter of the babbling stream near our camp and felt the cool mountain air...i knew that i was in such a beautiful place. i could actually feel it's beauty. as lame and weird as it sounds i felt so beautiful being there. i felt like i have purpose and meaning, even though i wasn't doing anything to get dinner done faster.

for only the 2nd time in my life {and i know this isn't a common experience} i stayed up the entire night talking around a camp fire rather than sleeping in a tent. we had every intention of sleeping in sleeping bags and tents, but at about 3 am we had decided to just stay up the whole night. i got to see a different side of a few girls and get to know and understand them better. and they also saw a crazy and delusional side of me when i am extremely tired. it didn't matter that we were eating pasta salad at 4 in the morning, that we made up an imaginary pet raccoon named roger or that we swear on the holy bible that we were witnesses to the 3rd nephite...the important thing was that i had fun and felt like i finally was enjoying my summer!

a lot of things happened last night/this morning and i will post more about that later when i upload some pictures, but i think that after the day i had yesterday, it was just what i needed. to be around good people who built me up...all except kyle...who loved me and who i felt safe around. i am so grateful that i am blessed in my life to know such great people, otherwise i may have wound up sitting at home eating ben and jerry's all night.

r.i.p little roger.


slacker blah blah

so i haven't blogged for a long while. mostly because i don't have internet at my humble abode. just one of the lovely non amenities of my beautifully spacious apartment. that was all sarcastic and if you couldn't tell, i just don't know how to help you then. i am sorry but this is going to be a boring post. i am now going to just talk about the goings on as of late, since this is semi my journal as well. if you get bored easily i give you permission to just stop while you are ahead and move on to the next blog that you happen to check. you're welcome.


to answer your questions

i am moving tomorrow.
i am moving to pleasant grove.
i found my roommate on ksl.com
it is close to the freeway, hence faster to work.
it is a new ward, which is what i was in desperate need of.
it is a very overwhelming thing.
i have found that i may have a bit of a shopping habit.
i own a LOT of shoes.
i own almost as many sunglasses.
char thinks i have more clothes than her...that is false.
i have lots of books, but want more.
i just have a bunch of random crap.

anyhow, i know for sure that my new place doesn't have internet or cable. but we will have a tv that has a screen smaller than my laptop. the point being, i may not be able to post as frequently...sad for all of you i know.


see ya suckers

i am moving.
it is only 10 minutes away, but it might as well be china.
i know that moving is a good thing.
i know that i have expanded and grown as much as i can here in af.
i know that this is an exciting new chapter in my life as a single.
i know that this is best for all parties involved.


i am scared and sad all at the same time.

to uproot your life after 4.5 years is a really hard thing. i have only cried once while packing up all my belts. packing my belts wasn't the sad thing...i am not that lame.

i have realized that as i have lived with my sister i buy things as if i had my own house already. the velour green striped grandma chair i got for free and moved myself in my honda civic, my gigantic ikea dresser, my collection of 100 fingernail polishes, my shocking amount of shoes, my 30+ necklaces that i have lived without for 1 year but still can't part with, my many items of clothing and my random collection of books, ranging from classics my mom passed on my way to smutty novels with unlikely heroines trying to find love. {they are all the same, but i can't help but love them}

so what does moving out mean to me really?...
no more eating out
limited entertainment ie movies, tanning and music
no more shopping...this is quite possibly the saddest thing of all
saving money so i can buy my makeup
grocery shopping again

but i will have a pool...so i guess it all works out.

once i am all settled, come visit.

well my sister just got home and i am supposed to be packing and not blogging...whatever.


stop, collaborate and listen.

i forgot to make one very important post!

back when i was in california visiting my dear friend kc, we went to a little place called the broadway grill. we happened {well planned actually} to go on motown monday. this is where a little band named pure ecstasy performs all your favorite hits from the motown era! it was such a blast! the best part was that kc and ashton had a gift certificate for a free meal...awesome right?

well the catch was...i had to pretend to be ashton's sister mala! now i have never met mala before, but i have seen pictures of her and let me tell you, we look nothing alike! heck ashton and i look nothing alike! but i was mala for the evening nonetheless. ashton was so worried that they would ask for id, that i had to hide my purse all during dinner so that i could make the claim that i didn't have any id on me when questioned!

the best part of all of this was that pure ecstasy was the band the performed at kc and ashton's wedding almost 2 years ago. during the middle of the show as preston {the main guy} was walking around getting the names of all the birthday folks in the house, he recognized the grewal's and started chatting it up. it had been a year and half since their wedding and he still remembered where the reception was held. now that is customer service if i have ever seen it!

after we had happy birthday sung to all of us it got a little crazy! everyone was up dancing, everyone was singing, and the table next us of middle aged women were drunk and putting the vibe on preston. preston deep down loved us so much that he came back to our table! i got up and danced with him, to which he exclaimed...'go mala, go mala, go mala...and he repeated that like 20 times in a row. that isn't even me exaggerating either! it was like an awkward pause that lasted 1 whole minute. it was an awkward chant of encouragement!

all in all it was a really fun night and the best part, they didn't even ask for id and all i had to do was write down my {mala's} email on the back of the certificate! i learned a lot being mala for the evening!

me with 'my' gift certificate

thanks to kc for the pictures as i couldn't use mine cause it was in hiding in my purse under the table!

kc and the 'birthday girl' mala
me singing with preston's buddy

my generous hosts for the week

this is how 'into it' ashton got...i am sure if he ever looked at my blog he may be embarrassed of this priceless gem...sorry ashton!


I DID IT!!!!!!

that's right folks i just finished my 8 week running program and today being the last day i ran for 30 minutes straight! i can't believe that i did it! who knew that all the sweat, tears, sweat, early mornings, sweat, shin splints and again sweat...would lead me to running a total of 2.5 miles today! 8 weeks ago when i started i never knew the sense of accomplishment and pride i would be feeling right now! i can't believe that i didn't quit after week 3! somedays were harder than others, and somedays i felt on top of world and like nothing could ever bring me down! you have to understand, i HATED running! there was not one thing that i liked about it. running for more than 2 minutes was impossible! the first time that i ran a full mile a few weeks ago, i started to cry cause i couldn't believe that i had come so far in running!

it may seem silly to some of you, but for me this is a huge accomplishment and it has just helped me to understand that if there is something in my life that i really really want, i can have it! it has shown me that i am a lot stronger than i ever thought! i am so happy right now that i have found a new passion in life!

yes i sweat this much...nasty i know.

my new pearl izumi's!


it's true. it's my birthday. 24 is a good age.

what has 24 brought me so far...

a trip to walmart at 1:00 am
a surprise visit from my cousin joseph...my favorite cousin
plenty of crystal light fruit punch
an awesome run in my new pearl izumi's
lunch at china isle
lounging at the pool for 2.5 hours
getting a wicked sunburn line from my swimsuit
chatting with my bff kc on the phone
chilling with my friend joel for a minute
getting a $15 gift card to costa vida...thanks joely
dinner with rachael
went to see 'up'...probably the best movie ever, i will post about that later
eating tiramisu in the parking lot of stoneground
rubbing aloe vera lotion all over my sunburned shoulders

good day in my book!

it hurts right here

i can't complain...i didn't use sunblock!


what is wrong with blogger?

i failed to mention that someone called me last week...


he called the night of my grandma's viewing as i was running into my mom's house to drop off the skirt she mended for me. he left a simple voicemail saying the he 'wanted to go out to lunch sometime if i was still in the area, to talk'...what the eff? i have not talked to him since the end of march {while i was in sf} and i haven't even seen him since like february! who disappears for months at a time and then finally calls when i am going through my grandma's passing?

i debated whether or not to call him back cause i wasn't sure what to do honestly. i consulted with a few of my bff's and got conflicting answers which confused me even more. i dropped it for the night and woke up the next morning and ran my little guts and frustration out. focused on my grandma all day and forgot all about a. when i was finally home, i consulted with one more bff and got the answer i was looking for. there is no reason for me to call him back unless i am ready to tell him how i feel and how he really truly did hurt me all those months ago. and i am ready for that now...funny what time can do for you. i don't know that i will go to lunch with him seeing as i had to leave a voicemail and it has now been 5 days and still no returned call from him.

how convenient that i have finally stopped thinking about him. i no longer drift to sleep dreaming of him. i no longer hear a sad/love/sappy song and think of him. i no longer yearn to watch so you think you can dance with him. i no longer think about our miniature golf experience. i no longer think about yapona...well that is a lie cause that is dang good food. i no longer think about him. that is the bottom line. i removed him from my mind, and now he decides to come back around. why does this have to happen. it's not fair. he is supposed to move on because i was well on my way to moving on from him. we were supposed to be done for good...

i'm not sure i am strong enough to have to forget him again...i can't do that a second time.


deal with the devil

i may or may not have, but definitely did just make a deal with the devil aka my sister char.
we set a date and there is no going back.
i will be moved out of her house by august 15 no battle.
i opted for december 31st but apparently that isn't good enough for her.
where i will be going is still undetermined, but i will be on my own for real this time.
it is time to be an adult i guess.
just being shy of 24 is a little disgusting to me, but the thought of 25 next year almost brought me to tears.

the other day when we were driving down to monroe for my grandma's graveside service, i realized that it was the first time that me and all my siblings were in the same car since we were kids in the yellow van. all six of us piled in char's spacious sequoia and we embarked on our 2 hour 25 minute drive to the small hometown of grandma and grandpa. we sang along to kelly clarkson...much to matt an jakes dismay...talked about serious family issues, made fun of me for my boy situation, laughed at jake with his 'bff' girl.friend that he has a crush on, emme's still existing blood clot and kate's lack of understanding most things...just like grandma. it was so fun to know that we are all past the age of fighting on long drives. it was also a little weird to realize that we are all adults of sorts. the youngest, emme, is 19 and the oldest, char, is 30. we are an old family and i also realized that it will be the 6 of us that keep us all together. we are past the point of relying on my parents to get us together. somehow i think that being siblings is the thickest form of family. then again i'm not a mom, so i can't really say i've done it all yet.

i'm thinking of joining a cult, cause at least that way i would have someone telling me what to do with my life. that may be a little drastic, but i said i was only thinking about it.


all i ever wanted

a little over a week ago my grandma passed away in her home in bountiful. here is her obituary that was posted in the papers:

Colleen Webb Asay


1927 - 2009

Colleen Webb Asay, age 81, passed away peacefully on Thursday, June 4, 2009 at her home in Bountiful, Utah.

Born July 15, 1927 in Monroe, Utah, she was the oldest of five children to Glyde and Christie Ilene Morrison Webb. Colleen grew up in Monroe, attended elementary, junior and senior high schools and graduated from Brigham Young University.

Colleen married Carlos Egan Asay on October 20, 1947 in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. They reared seven of eight children and served together in numerous church callings. She was his companion when he served as President of the Texas North Mission, acted as President of the European Area and presided over the Salt Lake Temple. In these capacities she testified of her love of God and the truthfulness of His church. Her constant desire was to serve her Father in Heaven and her family and to reflect and teach her love of the gospel to her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and those who crossed her path.

She is survived by her children, Marcianne (Mark) Cannon, James E. Asay, Marcus W. (Christy) Asay, Brent E. Asay, Clair F. (Jill) Asay, Timothy L. (Jennifer) Asay and Carleen (Gary) Seljaas; 39 grandchildren and 33 great-grandchildren; brothers and sister, Bill, Karen and John.

Preceded in death by her husband, Carlos Egan Asay; her infant son, Carlos L. Asay; parents; and sister, Virginia.

she suffered from alzheimer's, osteoporosis and arthritis and was truly suffering the last 6 weeks of her life. she was an amazing woman of faith, love and dedication to the gospel of jesus christ of latter-day saints and all those in her life. she always had a smile on her face and was always the last to laugh at a joke, even if she didn't understand it. a common thing that i heard a lot from those that knew my grandparents was that it was hard to think about colleen without thinking about carlos, and hard to think about carlos without thinking about colleen. they were truly in love. i mean how else could you get married at 20 and let your husband of 3 days head off to a far away land {syria, palestine} for a 3 year mission. she is a beautiful woman inside and out. we all love and miss her very much, but know that she is very happy being reunited with her loved ones.


stupid lost phone!

okay so pandora just totally let me down and tried to mix taylor swift onto my playlist...lame!

so back to losing my cell phone, which still really stinks for those wondering.  i have to keep asking the question...who is this...whenever i get a random text and concentrate really hard on the voice when a call comes through.  so tonight i get the same nameless text i am so used to seeing and ask who is this.  they were offended but finally revealed their identity.  it was a guy that i used to hang out with a few years ago but haven't seen for a really long time, but randomly was thinking about the other day.  and now i find myself being semi obsessed waiting to hear the little text ring from my phone, hoping our conversation doesn't end, just as i did all those years ago.  he once told me that hearing his phone go off in the middle of the day made him smile, and that he often looked forward to it, hoping it was me.  not that i am still interested in him or anything, but it just brings back memories of good times that are now long since passed you know?  it is just nice to hear from these random people every now and then.  i like knowing that they think about me too.

now here is a picture of me and lil miss squishy.


yeah it's britney spears

yesterday i was talking to a girl at work about a mutual acquaintance that we have that just recently dropped out of beauty school.  i mean who drops out of beauty school?  i guess if you really suck that makes sense, but she was like half way through when she left!  i just don't know anyone who can actually say they were a bsdo {beauty school drop out}.  i am glad that i made it through with my sanity!  i am also glad that i found something in my life that i am good at and that i love.  i mean some people never find that one thing in life that they are meant to do.  that is just sad.  
just now i was having a convo with kc via text message and we were discussing her 10 week long marriage class that her and ashton were invited to each sunday evening.  it is over now finally and i mentioned that i would have dropped out a long time ago.  to which she replied...
'it'd be just like that minute you went to college'
'yes just like that minute i went to college!  you really know how to put things into perspective!'
'it's a gift'
you see kc has found her one thing {among many things} that she is meant to do in life.  put others lives into perspective from an un.biased standpoint.  okay maybe not so un.biased since we're bff's but that is beside the point.  the point is whatever your thing{s} might be, it would be really sad to not be able to discover that for yourself!  


happy birthday to kate

it is my sister katie's birthday today and even though i am positive that she never reads my blog, i am going to tell her 28 reasons why i love her...

1  she is a very hard worker and made it through nursing school while working full time.
2  she is a very great mom and an excellent example to me.
3  she is so willing to help me with whatever it may be.  last week she offered to help me go back to school.
4  she gets so excited for me to come and hang out with her in farmington no matter how short or long the visit will be.
5  she has been a dedicated runner and loves it still to this day.
6  she has the best pregnant laugh that i have ever heard...this time i think it has stuck even after millie was born
7  she forgives me for all the times that i let her down.
8  that one time that she stuck her feet in my face so i wouldn't fall asleep first.
9  she is so smart...even though she thought that california was next to florida.
10  for when she used to flip off cars that drove by and honked while she was running.
11  all those times i would ride my brothers bike next to her while she ran.
12  her ability to stand up to people when she is pregnant...i am telling you, pregnant kate is hilarious!
13  that time she shoved my birthday cake in my face, only to have me shove some in her face while on the phone.
14  her list of music she wants her husband to download for her ipod while running...among her many requests...britney spears.
15  her ability to fall asleep anywhere and almost always before 10 pm.
16  the time when we hated each other...i mean hated each other.
17  on my first plane ride, i thought i was gonna be freaked out, but it was actually kate that freaked out even though she has flown before.  she dug into my arm so hard that i forgot that i was scared.
18  all the weekends that kate and nate would let me crash at their first apartment in salt lake.
19  her infinite love of training tables cheese fries.
20  the fact that she has worn the same make up for the past 14 years...except bare minerals has now been introduced to the mix.
21  me hand making all her wedding announcements, while working full time and going to school.  i wouldn't have done that if i didn't love her.
22  forgetting that i used to not like her husband.   at all.  i love him now, he was made for her.
23  she cut her hair all off and rocked it.
24  her infinite well of advice and empathy.
25  inspiring me to be a better person.
26  re.creating grasshopper pie ice cream from mitchell's in her kitchen.
27  when she held my hand while i had the flu one thanksgiving...for some reason that is all i wanted at the time. 
28  always being there for me, even if it is the middle of the night and i just got to her house, i can always crawl in bed next to her and get some sort of acknowledgment from her.

i love you kate and always will.  i don't think you would be able to get rid of me even if you tried.  when we are old and have alzheimer's we can live in the same assisted living place and ask each other who they are all day.  i hope you have a great 28th birthday.  gosh you are old! 


what's a girl to do

tonight i was reminded of a random moment thanks to mr. james.  you may recall the my dad suffers from dementia, or early onset alzheimer's, so sometimes throughout the day you are either laughing at how random he is or so annoyed with him.  anyhow, one night i was cutting kc's hair and i think char and randy were trying {unsuccessfully} to open their huge ginormous safe which was funny in and of itself.  but the even funnier part is when upon hearing char say something about ziploc bags, out busts my dad from his room holding a box of gallon size ziploc bags.  we all looked at each other with an odd expression wondering why the hell did dad have an entire box hidden in his room?  he acted like it was totally normal of course and forked over the box and went back into his room.  we all died with laughter much like the fit of laughter i endured while remembering this incident.  i have heard of alzheimer's patients hoarding random household items like remote controls and peanut butter...so is my dad now that bad that he is hoarding ziploc bags in case he were to need one in the middle of the night?  oh well.  i guess that all comes with the woes of the disease.  me and my sister have decided that the reason we laugh about it so much is because the only other option is crying.  crying cause our relatively young dad who was never really that involved enough to have a relationship with, is fading slowly and it is too hard to really accept what will end up happening.  we have been thinking about putting him in an assisted living facility.  i don't want to remember my dad this way, but i don't want to remember him in an assisted living facility either.  it is a whole jumble of mixed emotions.  cruel mixed emotions.  

this weekend i went home to farmington and spent time with kate and nate.  zoe is almost 3 and millie is 2 months now.  
we had a lovely dinner {sans kids} at sampan in slc
watched enchanted
ate macs and cheese at 10 am...it is never a bad time of day to have macs and cheese...
nate studied for his finals
millie slept
kate slept
me and zoe bonded over wall-e
had a hearty dinner of wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches
and tried {sorta successfully} to recreate my mitchell's ice cream experience in san fran {pics below.

all in all it was a nice time.  it was sprinkled with the rest of the family in there too.  i slept in until 9:45 on saturday...the longest i have slept in since my vaca to cali.  it was heaven.  


when i grow up

lately all i want to do is listen to sad songs and lie around in bed sipping hot chocolate and taking a vacation in my room.  this is what the rain will do to me!

so shade finally launched their new campaign called 'the bright side'!  it officially launched today on the website bringing shade fans awesome printed tee for an awesome cause.  shade brought along the bright side to help everyone look to the positive or the bright side in life in these uncertain times.  i know that we all know someone who is struggling and seen what this economic down time is doing to hard working individuals.  that is why 50% of every $20 tee will be donated to the united way to help 100 families in the community!  if you haven't checked out 'the bright side' yet, you really should!  i just bought my 2nd shirt today!  i already own 'game on' and now 'the future is bright'!  get yours now and help families in need.  you never really realize how much you have, until you start to look around at others needs!  

and seriously...is audrina {the hills} for real?  you were totally in the wrong creepin up on brody like that while he is dating the playboy sleaze named jayde....jade with a y really?  she may be a crazy when she is gulping down lagers, but she is still his girlfriend, and that was not cool.  i agree that brody should have tried to mediate, but stand up for you...no.

this is the first year ever that i have gotten my car re.registered before the month was up!  a full 4 days before april was over, i got my safety and emissions done and my car is still legal to drive!  i am very proud of myself and you all should be too!


funny thing happened

so as i was shopping at the gateway with my sister tonight a funny thing happened...
i lost my phone.
and by funny i mean ridiculously annoying.
we spent an hour of shopping time, searching for my broken blackberry.
so moral of the story is i am phoneless and know no ones phone numbers.  remember when you were a kid and you knew all of your friends phone numbers even your crushes phone number.  i went 18 years without one and the past few hours have been so lonely without it!  i am a blackberry junkie.  pray that someone finds it and has the decency to return the busted up thing.  if you have to contact me...facebook me or email me!


you can't go back now

so i gave up on doing a daily log of my trip.  for some reason that fact that i had it all planned out made me not want to do it anymore!  if only i didn't have to be so freaking structured!  anyway i will now give a brief summary of the rest of my trip in the form of a list...why?  cause i love lists.

walnut creek for kc's dr. appointment
shopping some more
experiencing my first {and not last} piadine from tomatina's...yummo!
picking up in and out for the entire family

delicious breakfast at copenhagen in burlingame
shopping in burlingame at the cutest store therapy
finally site seeing in the city
golden gate bridge
lombard street
the sea lions at the pier
the ever busy pier 39
ghiradelli square...2 samples
house of nan king...best chinese food in china town...thanks again ck
mitchell's ice cream...best i have ever had in my life

lounged around and read while kc went to cousins track meet
dinner with ashton's parents
my first red mango experience {funny i had to go to CA to experience the mango}

sacrament meeting {i am a horrible influence for the grewals}
kc and i ventured to half moon bay and watched the sunset {in the top 3 favorite things of my trip}

hard rock cafe for an early lunch
people watching at the pier
alcatraz {so cool}
i pretended to be mala and got a free meal at broadway grill...the funnest night ever!  thanks you guys!

walked the dish with kim and her baby
lunch in pluto's in palo alto
fraiche in palo alto {red mango, but not as creative toppings}
reluctantly packed up all my stuff.  surprisingly it all fit.
went to airport, had a tearful {not} goodbye scene with kc and flew home
used the airplane bathroom for my first time ever.

it was a really fun trip and i can't thank the wise family enough for their hospitality!  menlo park is a beautiful place and i want to go to there again someday.  everything was green and lush that i felt so relaxed somehow.  

i will post pics later cause i am tired.