the other night i was talking with my roommate and a good good friend we will call A. the topic of conversation rested upon mister mister somehow and A asked if i considered mister mister to be the person i will never get over. i laughed my head off inside as i told A that no, mister mister was not the person i would never get over. because in all the irony that this world has to offer, A is in fact the person that i will never get over. and now it is A that hasn't talked to me since saturday night. it is A that i have constantly been thinking about even though 11 years of this back and forth has only taught me that no communication is my answer. and so for about the millionth time, it is that moment to walk away on my end as well. it's pretty easy since i am walking away from essentially nothing. it's funny how i can know a person so well, yet have no idea why they do the things they do.
i made a promise to blog over the weekend so that i can keep people informed on the happenings of my life. so here i am! love you karin...if you are reading this.
so now is a good enough time to tell ya'll that i may or may not have gotten fired from my job and that is why i 'left'. and when i say may or may not it is a definite statement of firing. but it's totally fine because i was in the right and i stood up for myself and was able to keep my integrity intact, unlike the few others that were involved. it's funny how things work out. getting fired forced me to realize that my former place of employment wasn't the most positive place to be and that i am better off without them. the management was less than desirable, which lead to people playing favorites to protect the lack of work ethic and general morals in the workplace. so i think that in the end i am better off and can still look at myself and see me...not some conniving and lowly backstabber. :)
so i am still unemployed and learning a lot about myself.
- i can still read 3 books at one time...to kill a mockingbird, my antonia and how green was my valley.
- i don't have to spend money to have fun.
- the notebook is pretty cheesy, but ryan gosling is oh so yummy.
- knitting makes you cooler.
- de-junking your room is therapeutic.
- working out is still the last thing i want to do, even though i have PLENTY of time to do so.
- i can't sleep in past 9:30 even if i wanted to.
and some news from the boy front...mister mister is finally gone. thank freaking goodness! he was starting to feel like a virus that just kept holding on no matter how many antibiotics i was drowning him out with. seriously our break up lasted longer than our freaking relationship. no joke. after all of that i have been a little weary of boys. seriously i think that maybe it's not such a bad thing to start 2013 with no boys in sight and work on aly. it's not like i'm super messed up, i just need a little time to myself to figure out what i want 2013 to look like. i've decided that i get to choose what happens next year. 2012 i let life happen to me and next year i will tell life what to do. good plan right. i'm almost absolutely certain that is so not how life works, but i'm willing to make an honest effort here. anyway i've had a few awkward encounters with a few guys. nothing super exciting other than maybe making out with a 40 year old. admittedly that was not my proudest moment in life, but guess what? it's still 2012 and i need a little more fuel to the lifetime movie hopeful fire.
moving on i just cried like a baby when i got a sliver in my finger and my roommate had to get it out for me. never a dull moment here on spencer road. i'm going to say this for probably like the millionth time on this blog, but next year i promise to be a more consistent blogger. i mean i really enjoy our time her on the blogosphere and let's face it, i'm pretty funny and you all enjoy my ramblings! :)
don't worry i'm still unemployed. it's been awesome! no but really it has been. not having a job has helped me realize that no matter how much time i have on my hands there are still things that i just don't want to do! for example: getting rid of my gigantic tv in my room and replace it with a sleek flat screen care of my sister, get rid of half my closet, go to d.i., clean my room, clean my bathroom, organize nail polishes, read books my mom gives me and organize my playlists. it's like really hard to be me.
here is what i actually have been doing...
loving on these fellas
family picture time for this clan
a few batches of pumpkin chocolate cookies
FINALLY got my brakes fixed
hanging with this guy
making a pyramid just like the egyptians...with hershey's kisses
thriller with nat nat
again...loving this guy
raking leaves for these girls to jump in
another 'date' with nat nat
birthday cooking for nat
HATING this white stuff
nutcracker with these kids
knitting my life away
i'm most proud of my knitting to tell you the truth. it's so relaxing! and i'm least happy about the snow. seriously like i know that snow is good for utah so that the whole state doesn't burn up like this past summer, but can we just skip winter just once?
blame it on the gossip girl that i have incessantly been watching, but every time i pick up my phone i secretly wish it was some juicy tid bit of gossip to blast to everyone i know. oh to be an unrealistic teenager in the upper east side of manhattan.
i have ended my career at remedez after 2 years. the details are semi important but not important enough to blast on my blog just yet. this is a whole new experience leaving a job before i have my next move in place. it's pretty scary. you know mike lives his life just day to day and seems perfectly content to continue living his life like that. yet another reason why that 6 week break up was necessary. i commend those that are able to just breeze through life without a definite plan and somehow make it. and on that same note i feel sorry for those that slave through life knowing what the next step is and falling flat on their face. i'm happy to be somewhere right in the middle right now and knowing that someday it will be back to normal soon. whatever normal is right?
with this new bit of my life, being unemployed, it has made me really reflect on this past year. 2012 started out with a bang what with my dad being adult.napped and holed up in a basement for 5 days. sounds a lot worse when you put it that way right? then a few really tough break ups, and now no job. it really makes me wish that i could just forget 2012 and skip to 2013 already. why is that the boring or mundane things can be forgotten so easily but the crazy and out of the ordinary things are so vividly retained in our memories. i guess due to the fact that they are usually things that you can't plan or orchestrate yourself and they remove the agency right out of your perfectly manicured hands. you sneaky, sneaky, sneaky existence also known as life. i'm just really banking on the fact that i am supposed to learn something from this whole experience. the only problem with banking on something you can't control is that it's just another word for betting. and betting is up to the fates, and we all know that the fates are just nasty, nasty witches. better luck next time a.
last night after much introspection and alone time i decided to make october resolutions. because resolutions at new year's is for losers. i feel like this year has been one thing after the other and i haven't been able to catch up to my life. until now. now that i don't have a boyfriend i have plenty of time to do all that i want. respond to text messages. answer phone calls whenever i want. well i guess that i all that i have thought of right now, but you get the idea. this also led to another interesting topic. how do girls go from boyfriend to boyfriend? i don't get how that is done in the least bit. maybe that is one thing the world will never know.
after i took myself on another mini dinner date tonight i secluded myself in my room to watch how i met your mother on netflix and play drop 7 on my iphone. if you haven't played that game it will change your puzzle loving mind and you will be addicted. you're welcome. anyway, all of a sudden my phone began to ring and this pic popped up on my screen...
|my jessie ellen and me|
this little lovely was in utah county visiting her adorable little brother and she wanted to stop by. i obliged immediately and changed out of this get up...
i recounted my final encounter with mike and she laughed at what she thought was my stupidity, but then it turned into laughter of pride (laughing out of pride is a thing right?) in her amazing friend aly who stuck to her guns. then our conversation turned to people stupider than i am only to end our visit with listening to moon river (r.i.p andy williams) and watching alex boye videos and finding out he is from london, england and not africa like i had hoped/thought.
the point is this. i love little surprises like this. and had i still been with mike i would have missed out on lots of laughs and love with one of my favorite people in the entire universe. yeah because i would have probably been at mike's crappy one bedroom apartment watching battleship for the 700th time and eating wings from trolley wing company. actually those wings are delicious, so that wouldn't have been that bad. anyway, life with mike was stifling my real life and the important people in it and that is not what love should be like, right?
my mom told me the other day to stop stressing so much. ha. toni is so funny sometimes. i asked her how i could not stress when this year has brought not one, but two failed relationships and a court case brought on by a women who kidnapped my dad and married him. my life has quickly become a punch.line to multiple jokes that you never want to hear.
to fill you in. mike turned out to be manipulative, immature and verbally abusive. so needless to say i walked away and started the longest break up in history lasting a total of 6 weeks. it finally came to an end when he returned my spare car key, watched a movie and denying his every attempt of a kiss. ya'll should be very proud of that fact that i stuck to my guns and finally 'kicked' him out of my house to sit on the couch alone in the darkness numb for about 20 minutes. only to be a little bummed the next day when he didn't text me. this love crap is a sick and twisted cycle. i don't get it.
anyway i'm not as bummed as this post is about to make me sound...so here are some pics to keep your attention. thanks lovelies.
me and sadie lady at some family function this summer
zoo time for my b.day
i was a really good shoulder ride giver
more proof of my shoulder ride skills
we were a little too excited for the train ride at the zoo
another random family function
me and my lovely cousin tilly at jony's bridal shower
me and jony at her shower...she is a gem
they 'helped' me clean my bathroom
at the centerville fireworks withe rae rae
me and millie on the 4th of july
don't worry she was ok...this was hilarious
made my dad a plate of fruit
caught the bouquet at jony's wedding
sadie was FREAKED out for this ride...immediately after she informed me that she didn't cry
pioneer village tour with the fam on our annual asay lagoon day
jake was informing me on how to make coffee
this was right after jake pushed emme out of the picture...sibling rivalry at it's best
love these little loves
babysitter of the year
another zoo pic
just discovered the most delicious cupcakes...oh and i love erika
lots of quality time with this love
mike tried to win me back
emme got really comfy on our 3 hour drive
flaming gorge or bust
all ready for an adventure
nature walk time
still don't know what these are or why they are in the middle of nowhere
again babysitter of the year
love these kids
this guy was so hot to me. any man who can rock this at church is a win in my book
gas station run with my favorite 11 year old
jack was soooo over picture time
story time in mom and dad's bed
so many things were funny about this. jane is her own person and i love it
max was thrilled to be in his bumbo
we are the hottest nerds you will ever meet
date night by myself. not as depressing as you would think.
so as you can see my summer was amazing. seriously it was fantastic. even though mike and i broke up, we still had loads of fun together and fell in love for 2.5 seconds. i also learned that there is still a lot of things that i need to work out in my own life before i try to take on someone else's life too. i mean how am i supposed to care for someone else emotionally when i can't even begin to take care of myself emotionally at times? again i'm not as bummed as this is making me sound. i blame it on the willie nelson i am listening to right now. the point is this. i am a perfectly normal and sane human being who has feelings too. feelings that i'm not as afraid to share as i used to be. and i think that's a really good thing. so sorry this is a long post and i am going to try to get back on track and not forget about my blog. first order is clean my room, start running again, throw out some old clothes and shoes and pick up my heart. i think it's buried under the mess on my floor. ha ha, i kid, i kid. i'm happy. damn willie nelson and his contemplative mood control! good night gems.