snow = i despise

so i can now tell you how i got WICKED tickets! i am so uber excited that it is ridiculous! char asked emme to camp out for us so that we could switch them out at 6 in the morning to purchase the tickets! it was so cold and i don't know how her and staci did that! anyway while standing in line...

there was a radio station giving away 2 pair of tickets...and guess who won?...
that's right...char who never wins anything won tickets! we were freaking out and it didn't take us long to decide that we should give the tickets to emme for spending all night out on the cold street of salt lake! i wish i could post her reaction christmas eve when she opened them! it was so awesome and how i wanted it to be! she was reduced to tears after screaming! the funny thing is the tickets ended up being better than the ones that we bought! so merry christmas emme!


and she's not a bridesmaid

i finally saw geese flying south this morning. i am glad all their practice flying east paid off.

work is great...i like the girls and the power is great! just kidding. the store is really awesome and looks nifty! you all should come see it right across from paradise bakery. go there for cookies and then stay for the clothes...that should be our motto.

i just vowed that i am going to start going tanning again...i am pastey white.
christmas is coming soon...yeah i guess. i am just so anti holidays this year. well except for halloween cause that rocked. the one day of the year to be oprah...how could that not be awesome.

my dad moved back in with me and my sister...he watched the hills with me the other night cause his tv is broken and so he has to watch it in the basement. he watched the hills...wow, i really gotta move out.

i miss my other work friends. kc you especially. i like have no one to talk to all day...well like we used to talk you know. and the worst part is, i can't dial 451 anymore and say...mrs. grey, can you step into my office for a minute...then you would walk around your cubicle and then the 5 feet into my half cubicle. ah...those were the days.


i AM thankful

happy turkey day.
it was a great one for me...i reverted back to my childhood for a good solid 3 hours and played nintendo 64 with my brothers and sister. i only complained a little bit while playing mario party...who's idea was it to do 50 turns each! that takes like hours just as an fyi. dinner was great. jake and i got in a banana cream pie/water fight. my hair got trashed and was forced to pull it up with whipped cream crustiness and all wet! i have never laughed so hard. i totally got him in a head lock for like 1.2 seconds, he ruined my make up...but i wasn't too thrilled with the color combo to begin with so this was okay, and my mom retreated to the garage to stay banana cream pie free. after the fight we got back to our pieces of pie and enjoyed it with smirks as we reminisced on the events that had happened 2 minutes earlier. we ate loads of stuffing and after years of begging, my mom finally let me have a turkey leg! my life long dream of living it up like a king came true, too bad my camera was dead so i couldn't take a picture.
i worked tirelessly all day and night on wednesday, with countless others to get the new SHADE CLOTHING store in american fork open tomorrow for black friday! it was hard work and i have the bruises on my knees to prove it! it was a very long day, but we did meet shannon's goal of leaving by midnight...it was 10 minutes before midnight, but we still did it! it looks AWESOME! i am so stoked to work at such a stellar store! it was absolutely worth every square inch that i swept.painted, scraped.mopped on hands and knees! so make sure to come see the new store! cause starting monday i will be there full time! i am so proud to work for a company that has so many dedicated people to pull together to make this happen! go SHADE!
i am now off to bed, cause i have to work in the morning...go me!


one more thing

this is my speaking in church outfit sans the shoes. i was really cute. you know how i do!


blogging is so freaking sick. i sit down to fill you all in on my life and i get sucked into other's blogs! they are all so cute and mine is so boring! sorry.

anyway, i have been training for my new job and it has just flooded my pea size brain with so many memories of retail bliss when i worked at Bath and Body Works while i was in beauty school! the way i would totally flirt with the t-mobile guys that worked right outside our store, the way i would curse the teenager bums waiting for a movie on a friday/saturday night who would make such a mess of our sink, the $.25 cookies at mrs. fields and giant water cups, smelling like 800 lotions at the end of my shift, the overstocked back room, the trash elevator...that was so fun really, the manager checking my purse to ensure i didn't stuff it with sweet pea body butter, and the christmas rush! ah the christmas rush...i think that is what any company really waits for. their sales shoot up from the fall slump and stores are packed whether they are selling seasonal decor or watches. it is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

i am so anti christmas before thanksgiving, but when your boss blasts christmas music before halloween...it is a little hard to avoid the pandemonium. sometimes we would turn my manheim steamroller cd's on for a little giggle until someone pointed out the fact that it was 70 degrees and october, then it didn't seem so cool. but i am getting a little more excited...let's just get thanksgiving out of the way.

i really had every intention of cleaning my room tonight, but this is so much more fun!

mom, if you are reading this...call me cause i don't know what is going on for thanksgiving. char is leaving me and i need some family that day i think. i won't start a fight as per last years example of my maturity! you're welcome.

i totally am so excited for twilight tomorrow! last week i was emailing kc about it and i kept spelling it twighlight...who knows why, but then i got all self conscious and had to check every calendar that i wrote it on just to confirm that i spelled it right. i am such a loser! anyway i am so revved for it that i can't contain myself! my day tomorrow is great! i get to clean the office bathroom, upon letting dear mrs. austin go for her 'cleaning'...we all have office chores, and tomorrow is my turn! so anyway i get to clean the bathroom tomorrow and then i get to go to twilight. don't kill me just yet russell...i am still a star employee i promise!

this week i downloaded david archuleta and david cook. i need to get a life.

oh and i used a big word the other day and now i can't remember it...kc can you?


it's been a while

my little brother Jake just got home from his mission on the 5th. that was fun. in true asay fashion, we were all late and so he got to 'come home' 3 different times. i think that secretly he wouldnt have had it any other way. he is so awesome and it is so good to have him home. 2 years is a really long time, but i am so proud of him for sticking it out! he is a sweet kid and he will go really far in life...maybe even further than me!

i got a new job. again, same company, just a different title. i will be the assistant manager of the new store in American Fork that will be opening in time for the holiday season...we hope. it will be a really good move i think. i just feel like i was stuck in a sort of rut and this could really be something to shake things up a bit. i will for sure miss all the people that i work with now everyday. but i trust the one's i am leaving to do an exceptional job, maybe even better than me! i wish i could do the new job, but in the same office. i don't really think that will work tough :( oh, but good news is that the new store is in the same parking lot as paradise bakery and olive garden...i only like their breadsticks.

i am sick. last year i avoided the common cold, but this year it is getting me back and big time! i am a phlegmy nasty mess. at work yesterday i had a 'friends' moment...i looked at my garbage bin at my desk full of used tissues and was reminded of the episode where phoebe is sick and gets a sexy voice but loses is when she gets better and tries to get it back by stealing monica's used tissues when she gets sick. it was really funny to think about that. last night i woke up at 3 and just laid in my bed until 5 when i finally got up to take some medicine. all we had was robutissum and i didn't even think to check if it made you drowsy seeing as i did have to work today. unluckily for me it was exhausted when i woke up late at 7:30. and then it didn't help that today's work dragged on forever!

twilight comes out next friday and you better believe i have a ticket! thanks to kc...you be the bomb mrs. grey.

n is completely out of this picture, unless i really want to use him...no that is rude.
a is somewhere...just not near me.
t is leaving soon...lame.
j is the bomb and even making me a hat...how sweet is that.

my niece zoe stole my rings when i was up there last and today she told me i had to buy them back from her. she is 2.5. wow...



happy halloween!


okay this is better

so i finally have a blog worthy story to tell!

i almost got in a fight with an 11 year old today! no joke...it was freaking awesome!
i walked into subway...you know to eat fresh. i got in line behind some guy that was getting like 3 footlongs and then some punk kid holding his sandwich. i figured there was something wrong with his sandwich until he was picking out everything he could shove down his throat before he made a big fuss to throw it away right in front of the girl who made the sandwich. he gets back in line and demands she make him a new sandwich. this is when she points out that she is already helping a customer. in the process she cuts her finger as she is wrapping the guys last sandwich. he feels horrible she calls for help from the other workers in the back but no one comes so she holds a napkin on her finger till she is all done and someone finally comes to help the raunchy kid!
the girl asks if the other worker got him a new sandwich.
'no but, she sure better'...wow pretty rude.
she asks what kind of bread...he tells her. she gets some out and he says
'um...it was a footlong'. as she is looking for the right kind of bread he says
'never mind just do whatever, i don't care anymore'.
as this happens the first worker comes to me with a bandaid on her finger and asks what i want. after working all day i am frazzled and have a slip of tongue and say
'can i get a 6 FOOT on wheat'.
'ha ha, 6 foot, you want a 6 foot sub...ha ha, sorry'.
i was about to deck the kid so i say
'yeah you better be sorry you are being really rude!'
she gets my sandwich all made and maybe it is the customer service quality that i care so much about with work, but i really feel bad for the girl.
'is your finger okay, i saw that you cut it?'
'yeah i am fine.' she said as she was visibly holding back tears.
'well and i am sorry that this kid is being such a jerk. he needs to get over himself.'
lucky for me he overheard.
'i need to get over myself?'
'yeah, what are you like 12?'
'no, i'm 11.'...like that really helps his case...so i laughed in his face.
'look she made me a shitty sandwich and so she will make me a new one.'
so the girl jumps in and says
'yeah i did botch his sandwich pretty bad.'
'i don't care that doesn't give him the right to be a jerk to you. i hope you have a better night and don't have to deal with him anymore.'
i pay and i start walking out to my car and i hear.
'have fun with your 6 foot sub.'

okay really...where is this kids manners and his freaking parents?! Like seriously who is really that rude to people. you came to subway, you ordered your sandwich, you WATCHED them make it and you paid. you knew exactly what you were getting when they handed you your wrapped sandwich. if you don't like you sandwich it is your own dang fault! i wish in that instant that there was not a 7 year old boy standing in line with his mom behind us, otherwise i would have reamed into that kid!

there are a few things that i ACTUALLY hate in this life:
people who are rude to servers...ie waiters/waitresses and subway employees...you know the last thing they want to do that day is deal with snottty people like you and not get tipped!
people who talk on their cell phones as they check out/pay at restaurants/car washes/target...have a little respect for the person that just rung you up!
people who don't use their blinker...i am not a freakin mind reader
and finally...
people who let their kids just scream at stores and restaurants...if i wanted to hear kids scream i would have some of my own.



and then you get engaged...

how does that work?
you were supposed to get fat and bald! not settle down and be happy.
oh well...at least we both know that i am much better off without you.
take that and your stupid engagement and peace out.
deleted from phone finally!


cry me a river

i am so frustrated today.

oh my talk went pretty well i guess. i bought a really cute dress, belt and shoes for the event accessorized with the new Shade Clothing cardigan vest in heathered olive to off set the new plum dress. i was pretty cute.
i was so glad that it was over, except that there was someone in the congregation that i dreaded talking to after. i had mixed emotions seeing this person and didn't know whether to smile with glee or cry from frustration. i ultimately chose neither.
he told me i was being mean after. to him. mean to him because we had an hour text convo the night before after midnight which shouldn't count cause my brain shuts of at 11 these days. apparently my sluggish and very starving body said something not up to par.
i played the piano after church and got so upset that i started to cry cause i just had so much emotion built up over .a. and so much anger and annoyance with .n. that all i could do was cry as i contined playing the song cause i refused to stop just so i could cry.
it didn't help later tonight to have my 'best' friend complain about her bf and ask my advice which is all she seems to call me for these days. she has no idea what i am going through and hasn't for a few months. and i didn't feel like telling her would make me feel better cause i knew she wouldn't really be listening cause our whole friendship her problems are always more important and bigger.
oh well i am glad that i get to see real friends at work tomorrow to cry to. cause let's face it, i will probably cry tomorrow too. this is a crossroads of sorts and i can't handle this right now in my life. i am too busy to have a breakdown, well for at least a few months. you know with the holidays coming up, i need to be in top 'fronting' condition. it's a family thing and i am a little rusty.
but somehow right now listening to .come on eileen. by dexy's midnight runners is making me want to dance the night away and forget about both .a. and .n.
great song.
i'm bobbing my head and tapping my toe as we speak...now excuse me while i dance my frustration and sorrow away.


wolfberries are puke.a.licious...right kc?

today i saw a flock of geese in a .v. formation flying due east. i thought they flew south for the winter. i must be wrong. i blame the public school system.
i have to speak in church on sunday and i am totally buggin right now. i don't have anything to wear. how am i supposed to speak in front of people if i don't have anything to wear? good thing today was payday so i can shop tomorrow.
i have worked out 2 days in a row. congragulate me.
i have a freakin small laceration on my finger and it is really hard and painful to type.
Shade Clothing, my place of employment, has some pretty amazing scarves this season. here are some sick photos...note this is after i worked out today so i am the equivalent of gew. this is as per sw's request btw...
the babies are huge...and by huge i mean they are finally the size of normal babies. i love them and they are actually getting cuter everyday. their mom even says so, so i am justified in saying that.
it's halle's birthday today (17th)...she has successfully made it to 5! go hals...here are 5 reasons i really love her...

1. when she was 3 she would constantly say...aunt aly.aunt aly.aunt aly, i love you...it would make my heart melt every time.
2. she has the most amazingly brown eyes that will manipulate you every time.
3. she can make the best pig noise i have ever heard.
4. her giggle is the sweetest thing you have ever heard! i love to hear her laugh.
5. she was my best bud for 3 solid years while i nannied, and i can't help but just want to squeeze her whenever i see her!
i love her! look i even made he cupcakes and a cake! the rainbow...not the pink one.
i hate being stressed over stupid and insignificant things, but the past couple days, i can't help but do just that. why do i care what someone would say when i know that regardless of what it means i have no future with that person. why do i have no future with this person? because they are weird, immature and kiss crappy.


whopper this

i just realized that i have a really cute pair of sandals that i really love...and i didn't wear them once this summer. they are still packed up. boo...i am really bummed.

10 favorites
food...i think right now, rice cakes with peanut butter and banana slices
song...just like heaven by the cure
movie...right now, little miss sunshine
sport...to watch, football
season...rainy season. i like to jump in puddles
day of the week...currently tuesdays, cause that is the day of my cake decorating class. i am furthering my education.
ice cream flavor...i love swirl cones
time of day...um, i think 8:15am as i am driving to work and the sun is in my eyes
9 currents
taste...the start of morning breath
clothes...gray sweat shorts and a plain white v.neck tee
desktop picture...the default pier at nighttime. my one at work is a bunch of oranges
tonail color...mintt green from urban
time...1:27 am
surroundings...the dim glow of the corner lamp in the office
annoyance...my old old old ipod. i want a new one.
thought...how tired i am, but also thinking about him
8 firsts
best friend...millie young or rachel schriver
kiss...i plead the fifth
screen name...i don't aol. i am changing this to pen name...sammie macdonald
pet...max our cocker spaniel that ran away one beautiful sunday while we were watching america's funniest home videos.
crush...i think it was zacc call...how embarrassing
music you remember hearing...lorenna mckennitt, my mom was obsessed
car...1999 honda civic
speeding ticket...senior year. i was 17 and going 42 in a 25 zone. $125 later...whatev.
7 lasts
cigarette...never had one
drink...margarita. don't worry it was virgin
car ride...drove home from Heid's b.day bash
kiss...boo, not a good experience
movie seen...definitely maybe, cute
phone call...camille
cd played...really cd's...it was probably a random mix at work...'this is a water conversation' maybe
6 have you evers
dated one of your best friends...yes
broken the law...speeding ticket
been arrested...nope
skinny dipped...i plead the fifth on this too.
been on tv...unfortunately yes. never really that fun.
kissed someone you didn't know...sort of.
5 things (5 things for each)
your'e wearing...white shirt, gray shorts, eiffel for this color fingernail polish, awesome bracelets i made at the beginning of the summer and mint green toenail polish
you've done today...painted my nails, took a shower, went to lunch, went to walmart, went to a surprise party and rocked the house at scene it.
you can hear right now...my ipod tunes, some loud airplane or something, my fingers tapping on the keyboard, my own breathing and my jaw popping as i yawn
you can't live without...my ipod, my cell, my fingenail polish, my purse and my shoes
you do when you're bored...blog, write, doodle, play the piano and sleep.
4 places you've been today...
cafe rio
heids and kristins.
3 people you can tell anything to...
2 choices...
apples or bananas...bananas
1 thing you want to do before you die...
go to africa.


i wanna jump in a puddle.

yesterday at work we were trying to figure out how much we have spent on the new fall line that is still working it's way into the warehouse daily. i checked out all my paid invoices and then added up that amount that i still owe for the stuff that i have taken home cause i am deciding if i like it or not....the total was about $300 and that is even with my sweet 50% family discount. if i did my math right...that is a grand total of $600 dollars on shirts and sweaters for fall. $600 on just tops! can you believe how retarded i am with my money. The fact that i have any to live at all is amazing. the other thing that sucks is that i got paid yesterday and all my hard earned overtime hours two weeks ago...basically went all to taxes. freakin h.e.double hockey sticks my tax refund next year is going to be awesome...right?

i've been thinking i should move to california. it seems like the cool thing to do. utah sucks with the rain and the snow. plus if i move to california...i won't be here. makes perfect sense to me.

ew...i just found two long blonde hairs on my new black zip hoodie...i don't have a single blonde hair on my body. who's is this. gag.

today at wally world...aka wal mart...we were searching for a great candy mix for a little surprise party later today and we would stumble upon something that had the potential to be wickedly awesome, but then there would be whoppers in the mix and i would get so frustrated. who even likes freaking whoppers anyway. for real as we were about to leave i found a mix with peanut butter cups, baby ruth, crunch and hershey bars...great for chocolate lovers as i was reaching for the large mix, whoppers jumped off the bag and i threw the mix yelling 'damn you whoppers...for ruining every mix in the world'. i HATE whoppers, almost as much as i hate lindsay lohan. oh and jordin sparks. one step at a time is the lamest song.

yours truly

double a


i suck at blogging

so this week at work we got new cubicles. when i say new that may imply that we had them in the first place. well we didn't. this is a fairly new development and it really sucks! i don't have the luxury of turning around in my swivel chair to talk to val and kc. now i have to either get up and walk all the way across the sea of gray carpeted walls to their nook or call them on our very high tech phone system. which after 2.5 months finally says my name and not shanny leigh's. it also really sucked when i found out that i was sort of the original problem. so what? i like to talk to make the day go by a little faster, but i do work twice as hard as lots of people and get my work done. go me.
i bought a new fingernail polish that i really love...russian navy! i think that brings this months total to 6? i think i will now have to limit myself to 4 bottles a month. the sad thing is that the untrained eye may think that they are all the same color, but nope! they are all subtly different and i love them all for different reasons.

i am thinking about bangs and a new haircut. i need a change...suggestions?
now some recent pics of things.people i love.

jessie is seriously one of my favorite people ever...

my friend becca is cooler than yours...

my sister emme s cooler than yours by far...she jumped off a 30 foot cliff!...

zoe is the craziest.cuttest.funniest kid ever...you are jealous!...

and thus concludes today's post.

i lied! i went to so you think you can dance and was utterly amazed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really heart mark!


4 u kc

okay so i went to flaming gorge.

jumped off a 30 foot cliff
rafted...well for a bit
layed out on the raft cause i got fired from paddling
layed out on the raft cause i got fired from bailing out water
got sunburned a bit
camped...for 3 nights. yeah i know
survived a torrential down pour in a tent that was leaking on all sides
slept on a crappy 'air' mattress on the night of the said torrential down pour
had lots of fun with friends
played with my sister a lot
ate enough licorice to last me a lifetime

all in all it was really fun! i think i am getting a little more used to this whole camping thing. i am totally granola now. my friend alex noted that i have gone camping more this summer than i have in the past 5 years. that is right, i am so tough again. i have found out that you can still dress all cute and camp at the same time. no make up for a few days really cleared up my face and i am glad for that.

my sisters twins are tiring. while her husband was out of town my days consisted of coming home from work, grabbing whichever baby didn't smell too much and was spit up residue free, and manning that baby all night. that included bottle feeding, burping and diaper changing. whenever i finally decide to have kids i am going to be a pro, but i won't want to cause it is so tiring. no sleep doesn't sound fun to me.



Sadie is on the left and Jane on the right! i love them! they are absolutely adorable and teeny tiny. they only have like 2 outfits that fit them and the premie diapers drown them!


basically i am tired

my sister Char had her twins yesterday! Jane at 1:00 pm weighed 5 lbs 1 oz and Sadie at 1:15 pm weighed 5 lbs 10 oz. they are just teeny tiny little things, and they are just perfect. they are so adorable and so fragile looking that i was a little nervous at first to hold them. my sister is doing great due to not having to get a c-section. the family is really happy and excited for the new arrivals, and they all get to come home tomorrow afternoon. yay for little babies.

i would post pictures, but basically i am just too tired. sorry.


uh huh...and then what

oh my heck, you would never believe it. i went camping again...for the second time this summer. i think i just turned granola. just a little bit.
no, it was actually really fun. i got to leave work early for the first time in months, drive for an hour and a half with a pretty awesome guy, explore old memories of girls camp past with said pretty awesome guy, and all while wearing a skirt and flip.flops, cause that is how i roll when i go camping. it turns out that we were the first one's really there, well next to the 'adult' aka married leaders. so we did what anyone else would do...blasted chris brown from my ihome and chilled in the car waiting for other people to join us. alex got pretty good at hitting rocks with his stick he found on our exploration of the surroundings. when one my lifelines arrived in the form of jessie, i felt a little better about camping. i loved bossing people around as they put up my tent and got me settled. the tent was uber easy to put up, but if i can get a boy to do my dirty work of course i am going to let it happen. then we trudged down to the bathroom...which has been drastically re.invented at camp aeries. FLUSHING TOILETS! that is correct. the place that i went to almost every summer of my life between the ages of 12 and 18...the place where i had my 12.14and18thbirthdays now had flushing toilets with sinks to wash away the dirt from under you fingernails. anyway, we ate, played and watched volleyball, and then concluded the night with a major dance party in which i probably looked like an idiot most of the time. but who cared, these kids were all younger than me and i am pretty sure i was not trying to impress any of them...well one, but that is beside the point.
then jess and i finally were ready to hit the sack, but that meant blowing up my air mattress. as we were getting it ready we worried that we both wouldn't fit on it...it looked like a freakin twin size bed! as it inflated more and more we worried it wouldn't fit in the tent! jessie was literally getting pushed out of the tent door due to the massiveness of the mattress, while i was getting pushed into the tent on the opposite side! fun moments were had as we drifted to sleep. then i was woken up at 1:45 so that alex could move my bags to my car since they would most definitely not fit in the tent! this being after him, austin and mike 'stole' my car and headed to mikes grandpa's time share to take a dip in the hot tub...which turns out they had planned the whole time...losers!
we awoke to annoying people talking about breakfast. imagine my disappointment to find out it was nothing more than costco muffins and chocolate milk. i'm not ungrateful by any means, but the last tiem i went camping i enjoyed french toast, fresh fruit and muffins. whatev. then lavell edwards, former byu football coach, came and spoke to us. i wasn't bored, just really tired and semi dreading our upcoming 'service project'. we were supposed to 'widen the trails, and clear them on debris in the form of garbage and twigs'. we made it about 100 feet from where we started. jessie, becca mc, and i broke a branch from a tree that was obstructing the pathway. the branch snapped and fell with a lot of force on top of us. my arm has the wounds to prove it. and i am now realizing that we were the adventurous 3 of the 8 and decided to 'walk' down to the river. i say 'walk' cause it was more like scaling the side of the mountain. and let's remember, i was in flip.flops. i had shoes, but i wasn't really expecting to do much with this service project. we made it about 30 feet down and realized the trail ended. then aly had to scale back up the mountain in flip.flops. not so easy.
we 'enjoyed' a lunch of taco salad and packed up to go home. i thought my muffler was going to literally fall off on the bumpy road back down. we stopped at a local grocery store in kamas and hit the road. alex found a bug in my ear, then fell asleep and talked in his sleep. i had a lot of time to think...that was nice. it rained a lot. i half thought about stopping and playing in the rain, but my literal logic was 'my feet are filthy and it is raining...they will end up muddy'. yeah try and figure that one out. i was really tired i guess.
as i played back the events of the less than 24 hours i was gone, i thought about my behavior. i did so many things outside of myself. bold things like scaling the mountain in flip.flops, danced until i sweat on top of a table...is that appropriate at a church activity, in a skirt nonetheless...and oh yeah...SLEPT IN A TENT! anyway i did all these things, but not the one thing that i wanted to do this weekend. express myself. i was so bold in other aspects, but the second i thought about my emotions and feelings...yeah right! i couldn't do that. i really want to and feel like i owe at least that much to myself, but i just can't. i don't care about rejection, i care about losing. losing really sucks and i don't want to and i'm not sure i can. i was so confused and that is twisted! i hate not knowing what the future holds. i wish i could just live my life as if i only had 5 years left to live. i wouldn't be hesitating about this, that is for sure. i need to stop thinking and analyzing and start just doing! like nike...just do it.


leave me your stardust

blind taste test...result: val, kc and i all know a thing or two about cupnoodle and instantlunch.
soyouthinkyoucandance...result: i am really sad that chelsie is going home, but really want joshua to win.
itunes finally...result: i added some pretty sweet tunes to my ipod tonight. i love music finding.
my muffler...result: well this isn't so much a result cause it is still falling off, i like to procrastinate.
shiny car visor...result: my car was at least 38 degrees cooler when i got in my car after work...not! i am gonna switch the direction i put it tomorrow and report back.
i'm a pushover...result: i am not


tell me lies and i'll justify them

i went home this weekend. i felt older than i have felt in a really long time. i saw kids that i watched over ten years ago and for some reason i expected them to still be 2...not 12. i always felt like i was such a fun babysitter that i obviously made a huge impact on their lives, but in fact they have not clue who i even am. oh well. the point is that it is funny how i have lived my life and still expect everything around me to remain the same. none of my friends should be married, or have kids. we should still be making lame movies in which i star as the disgusting shop keeper. we should still be playing 10 across on the trampoline, fighting in becca's backyard, running from jen's older than dirt dog, or sitting in staci's hot tub, all while pining over jessie's older brother. okay maybe that last one was just me, but who's keeping track? the cul.de.sac was the center of our childhood existence. the many neighborhood games that would go well into the dark hours of the night and yearning for the ice cream truck to make it's merry tune down the street. going to and from everywhere via 'the shortcut'. which started out as a hole at the top of a chain link fence we would slither through, into what slowly became a non existent fence and a steep hill with rocks as semi steps. you always knew where to meet up if you were gallivanting to the gas station or traipsing to the pool. summer always reminds me of those endless days. sure we fought like obama and clinton, but we all grew up and now i have a new respect for each of those girls. becca for her independence, jen for her maternal skills, staci for her knowing who she is and jess for the compassionate being she is. we all started as mean little girls, and now etching our own little corner of the world. making our mark on this world however we can and still being able to look back and smile. we did have some fun...and that is what keeps us connected.


na na na na hey hey goodbye

goodbye Shanny Leigh Shields. i am so uber sad to see my dear friend Shannon leave the workplace. she has been really awesome to get to know her and work with her everyday. i most definitely do not think that i am going to be able to fill her shoes...ever! she has brought so much to the office and we will miss her so much. the scary thing is that i am going to have to try to fill her shoes as i take my new position as customer service manager...scary!


and the home of the brave

well the 4th of july was a grand one! i woke up earlier on my day off than i wake up to go to work! that is just sick and wrong. anyway char and i rose early to make it up to centerville in time for the parade. it was great, rachael and her family basically take over the street corner down the street from their house and so char and i had premo seats! anyway then we headed to kate's and after much time and consideration found some paint colors for her new rooms. after a brief lunch the girls all set off to target and home depot to stock up on supplies. upon returning home we painted swatches and decided up on a bright yellow for the play room and a soft lavender for zoe's room. which reminds me...kate is pregnant! she found out today and is due in march. anyway...back to the 4th. after choosing paint colors we started our little family bbq. since char's kids were with randy at their family reunion in idaho it was a little small this year. we grilled some pork chops and gorged on potato salad, which char says she doesn't like but i think she really deep down does like. anyway, then we shot off some illegal fireworks thanks to nate's sister jen and brother in law justin coming from wyoming! then we had a great view of lagoon's firework show from the backyard. it was great!
so that is the scoop...a little delayed, but nonetheless there you have it. so right now i am making cd mixes to take into work tomorrow to mix up our usual music selection! some of you may be asking...'who makes mixes anymore'...the answer is me.
speaking of work...my dear friend shannon put in her two weeks yesterday! she was just offered a great job and decided it was time to part ways with shade! i am uber sad and don't know how i will be able to work without her. the scary thing is now i will be taking her postion and i just don't know how i am going to fill her shoes. i know a lot, but i am still asking her questions everyday! now i am going to be the one that people are going to be asking questions, and i am going to have to a. know the answers or b. bs really well. it is a great opportunity and i am sure i will grow into it in the future.
i just bought the sickest sneaks from urban the other day and i wore them for the first time today and wish that i could get away with wearing them everday. who would have ever thought that i would own a pair of nikes with gold and pink on them? i know right?


happy birthday to me...really.

on june the 19 we celebrated a very important day in history...my birth. yes it is true on thursday i turned 23 and what a great age it has been so far. i rafted, volleyballed, line judged, frizbeed, footballed, and pictured.

i aly, went camping for the first time in forever! i mean i really camped. i slept in a tent, in a sleeping bag, on a foam pad which happened to be over a nice little incline with what felt like a tree stump right in my back. my feet were filthy, i didn't shower other than what the river washed off, bathroomed in a latrine and reeked of smoke due to constant intense burning...thanks jessie for the terminology there. so i journeyed up to flaming gorge for the first time in my life. traveling in a car for about 4 hours is the best way to spend one's birthday. it was hot and long! by the end i was yelling at alex and austin to stop talking to me and stop talking in general. i was irritable and hungry! when we arrived i finally saw jessie, which was the whole reason i went, and she gave me some pink water socks as a present for the river rafting portion of the trip and somehow everything else was mellow from there. i was mocked for showing up in a skirt and flip flops, obviously these people forgot who they were dealing with! but i showed them when i took charge and put my tent building skills to good use. you don't go to girls camp for 7 years and learn nothing!

i was uber prepared thanks to my uber scout brother in law randy and i feel i impressed a few of my peers. my raft dominated the river. i jumped rafts at one point, which was such a thrill. i could have pictured my younger boyish self doing that, but me at 23...no way! the jump was successful, but the return to my amazing raft came with a bit of force thanks to maxwell shoving me off their raft. the water was bitter and i felt like jello trying to pull myself up! no more than 20 minutes later dear maxwell pulled danielle and i back into the river! for those of you counting that is twice! we schemed and plotted to take down maxwell since he was the main 'pirate' of the green river. on our attack 3 of our rafters jumped ship to attack...as the 4th jumped i was catapulted off the raft and landed in the river for the third time! in case you were wondering, i was pushed in the most. this time my return to the raft was horrible and i ended up bent in half at the bottom of the raft with my feet straight in the air. not the most graceful or pleasant experience! after lunch we were all so drained of energy and zeal that we just relaxed and let the river take us down the rest of the way. without brandon or alex on our raft i think that jess, danielle, linds, mindy and i would have been royally creamed by maxwell all together. thanks brandino and al.

i made new friends and bruised my thumb trying to play volleyball. i wasn't much good at that. i found out that my 'teammates' aka the girls planned a rematch of 4 on 4 with the guys and i wasn't invited because, and this is a direct quote from ryan...aly you just get bored and play with the net, you can be the line judge again. i didn't really fight back cause it was true. the only time i really played was when i served the ball, and the rest of the time i was doing yoga on a tree stump and making calls that only would benefit my own team.

but the moral of the story is that i survived and came back older. here are some pics...i only took pictures in the car. my camera can do lots of things, but resistance to water is not one of them!


lazy saturday is redefined.

I think it is a sad existence when you are as tan as you will get from 'fake baking'! i tried laying out today in the backyard in what was approximately a 5 foot square bit of grass that had the 'perfect' sun, and got really bored! i don't have the patience or the time to lay out for hours on end! that is why i pay my hard earned money for developing skin cancer is the falsest way possible! but it was a good excuse to put one of my 8 swimsuits of bought last year! then i remembered how much i freaking hate tan lines and was recommitted to the tanning bed. after all i am going rafting next weekend and need to look my best!

after showering and washing my hair i realized that i was getting ready to do my laundry and finally finish cleaning my room! i am a loser, but i am okay with it i think. the fact that last night i climbed up some rock walls multiple times, and barefoot i might add, makes up for me being a prissy girl. it was fun and spontaneous and i don't do that sort of stuff anymore. i started caring too much about what others think and forgot that deep down i am just as tough as any guy i know! i can throw a mean spiral, climb rock walls and dive to catch a frisbee...well if i absolutely had to. then the thought came that maybe it is summer that brings that side out in me a bit. i love walking around barefoot on the grass and driving with my windows rolled down even though my a/c does work! wearing skirts and tanks with a great pair of flip flops and my humongous purple shades...LOVE it!

today makes up for yesterdays crappy day of work. who honestly takes someone elses brand new bottle of dasani and claims it as their own? seriously! the thanks i get for taking my precious time to clean out the community fridge and making the office a better place! oh well at least i was able to shake that off and enjoy a fun night with michelley and davey wavey! kudos to fun friends!


why oh why...

coldplay's new album won't be out til june 17th...so far away!

my muffler is so annoying.

i am so over dating...get a life and man up. why can't you just be normal and do what you feel. if you aren't sure how you feel, don't pull crap like rubbing my leg in sunday school while i am reading a scripture aloud...hypothetically speaking. i can't believe i even helped you out today...let alone come to your house. i guess i have a slow learning curve.

i am now having to act my age and that scares me to death.

being responsible is way overrated!

throwing parties suck and i spent way too much on delicious food that took a long time to make!

i feel like i really used to know who i was, but now not so much. i am second guessing what i think about everything. i used to be the kind of person with my head on straight and semi knew what i was doing. now i don't know what i am doing or what i am supposed to be doing and that is really frustrating! i just want to be young again where the biggest decision was what i was doing that weekend.

i wish i had my own tv show like the hills. i think i have a pretty interesting and drama filled life...with my family alone. i think i have a lot to bring the world of reality television.

i wish dawson's creek were still on. no way were those kids in high school...the best episode is when pacey and joey get locked in walmart all night. that is so hilarious and who wouldn't love to living in walmart for a night?


jimmy eat this...

sometimes i forget how much fun my life is!
today i got to work at 1:30 pm.
i bought two new dresses.
the bachelorette started tonight.
i was by far that best dressed at an fhe bbq.
i had a fun little jaunt to wally world at midnight.
procrastinated cleaning my room another day.
bought some fun pens, just cause.
went tanning after a weeks absence.
saw people from high school and genuinely enjoyed seeing them.
was told my face looks like leather.
and my muffler is still falling off!

life is too short to not find joy in the little things in life! i am gonna try to invite these small joys into my life more often. like tomorrow morning for instance...i am picking up some breakfast burritos from beto's for me and shannon to simply make tuesday a little bit better!


black cherry chutney

i love when i finally have time to sit down and paint my nails and be able to do absolutely nothing so that i don't mess up my nails. that may sound really lame, but i love it! it is quite the accomplishment to have a newly painted set of nails that have no scratches, smudges or nicks! i am a simple person and find joy in small things such as a new manicure.
i made a great discovery last night...well awhile ago but that's not relevant. keren ann. she is pretty much amazing and has the most haunting and incredible voice ever!
i realized today that if i would have had my way i would have been heading to california tomorrow! my friend is getting married and i wanted to go, but my mom.slash.sister told me it was a bad idea and that i should have other priorities in mind. maybe she is right, but i won't tell her that. i guess moving out on my own for the first time in 3.5 years is a little bit more important.
i am finding out that it really sucks when people don't keep their word. just tell the truth...it works a whole heck of a lot better. i promise.


peace out lindsey

the other day i found out that an old friend of mine passed away unexpectedly. lindsey spjute was serving a mission in england when she suddenly passed from this life to the next. she was such an amazing person to have known. we went to elementary, jr. high and high school together and i saw her excel in all that she did. she was a smiling face to everyone. i never remember her upset or sad. she was always so positive and kind. she was such an amazing example of a person tyring to be like our savior jesus christ. i appreciate her for all that she did for those around her. i remember so many times her talking to those who were by themselves with no one to talk to. such an amazing daughter of god is simply just not saying enough. i love lindsey for all that she is. you will be missed spjute and know that we all love you!

it really makes you think that this life is only but a brief moment in the grand scheme of things. now is the time to prepare to meet god and live our lives with no regrets and with love and kindness to all around us. even if you don't know lindsey you can learn a lesson from her life. there is something more important to this life than what shoes you wear, what color your hair is or what kind of car you drive. life is about helping others understand their potential and lifting up others just to see the smile on their face. it seems unfair to have lost such an amazing person so soon, but i am so grateful that i have the gospel in my life that teaches that this life is not the end and that we will all live again someday. i do know that lindsey is in a better place and her mission has just truly started! so please keep the spjute family in your prayers and remember that there are no guarantees in this life! now is the time to live your life with joy and love!

thanks lindsey!


i passed!

don't be shocked when i say that i am not the most patient person...crazy. i know! with the being said i will now dabble in why i am not the most patient person.
1 ridiculous computer 'glitches'. i really could eat my entire delicious chinese lunch special of orange chicken and ham fried rice, in the time it takes for my computer to load one thing! i am pretty sure that my time 'wasted' waiting for my computer to work is somewhere in the hours category. really i get so bored that once wore a balloon on my nose and thought, out loud mind you, why haven't i ever done this before? at which point kc made a lot of fun of me and dared me to keep it on the remaining 20 minutes of work. i couldn't. it got in the way of talking on the phone.
2 ridiculous 'boys'. i am so sick and tired of 'playing' the dating game that i could scream. in fact sometimes i do scream. if i had a dollar for every time i got into my car/room and screamed at the top of my lungs due to frustration from the opposite sex, i would be a millionaire and be problem-free...cause everyone knows that the rich have no problems ever! boys, if you like a girl...just let her know. not so much in words, but in deeds. offer to bring her lunch on a busy day of work, take her car to get washed, make her a wicked playlist for her ipod or take her to get ice cream after a bad hair day. girls, if you like a guy...TELL him. guys are thick skulled and need to hear in words how you feel. if you are lucky their answer will sound something like this...'that's awesome suzy, i feel the same way'...if it sounds like this...'oh okay'...i think you're in trouble.
3 stupid mufflers. so my muffler is falling off. big deal! what does a muffler do anyway? i am pretty sure my car would be better off without it. someone told me if i got it fixed it would help my gas mileage...i think it was a lie to sound smart...another point to the aforementioned ridiculous boys section.


oh okay

i am sitting at work and uber bored/annoyed. our computer system that is supposed to be awesome is frozen for the 2nd time today, i am super stuffed from our delicious shower food, and really tired. but the best part is listening to mandy moore for the 15th time today! but i just got word that it is working again...go it department!


i hate tan lines

a really weird thing happened last night. my mom was right. and i was okay with it!


i don't know...i must bruise easy.

have you ever broken your nail at that point where it is way too short, but you have to cut off the rest of it at that 'too short' stage cause you can't have a crooked nail...heaven forbid! well i know you have cause it is inevitable that it happens at some point in you life. why can't we just leave it alone and let it heal itself? well if you are like me, there is not chance that you are leaving the sucker alone!
or like when you have that gigantic blemish on your chin...you are going to squeeze the shiz out of that little bugger cause you want it gone! and no matter how hard and how much it hurts, you aren't going to stop until all the crap is out of that tiny little clogged pore.
the point is that we all do things that hurt so. sometimes we can't breath and tears stream from our eyes without invitation. why? cause we are human and apparently we learn from experience and mistakes...well some of us learn from mistakes, i happen to have a slow learning curve with most of mine. learning/growth/change we can't escape. it will come no matter the circumstances and our social status.
it only took me 22 years 10 months and 10 days to realize. go me!


here we go...

Why is it that everything I do directly affects everyone in my bubble. I thought that I had an understanding with all those in my bubble that I am rarely serious and to never take me as such! I hate confrontation, I can't stand contention, and would rather die than have someone close to me mad at me! I am for the most part a happy and nice person and want others to feel the same. I have never committed murder, I have never committed adultery and I have never done drugs or had a drink of alcohol a day in my life! By many standards I am a good person, I have my flaws and made too many mistakes to remember! With that said...PLEASE stop thinking my life.slash.world revolves around you and your life! While I may care about you and wish good things for you...I will at the end of the day have my best interests in mind. I am a solo rider, like on Never Been Kissed when Josie_Drew Barrymore_is about to ride the Ferris wheel alone and the operator yells 'lonely rider'...that's me! I like being by myself every so often to think and breath! I am sorry that I can't take on all of your problems and lift you up when you fall all the time cause I have just as much to handle as you! And for the record this is one of those rare times when I am serious...crazy I know.

With that said...Utah has the weirdest weather! Snow on April 24th...sick is all I can say! But you know where there's not snow...St. George! Thanks Shannon for taking tomorrow off for the both of us, don't worry I alphabetized the returns.exchanges. You're welcome.


it's pathetic...

i honestly can eat a whole pan of rice krispie treats by myself! in one sitting!


boo 9 o'clock

today as i was eating a piece of two layer rainbow chip cake with rainbow chip frosting...i was reminded of the worst birthday i ever had that actually turned out okay. me and my friends becca and aimee had a crazy experience on my 13th birthday. without going into too much detail let's just say filling out a police report on the morning of your 13th birtday is not a fun thing to do! so after to cheer us up, we decided to make a cake...and since it was my birthday we had an excuse. well our friend jessie's mom rachel makes the best chocolate cake and frosting ever! so used the recipe to make a double layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting...it looked like the cake on matilda, except a bit smaller. it was so good! it really did make the day change radically! it is not until now that i appreciate that time in melissa's kitchen making.slash.eating that ridiculously delicious cake. i am realizing that even though life sucks sometimes...good friends and chocolate can ease over anything! thinking now of those friends...we all have made so many different decisions that have led us to various parts of life and the country. i hold a special place in my heart for each of them, and probably always will. they help me remember a part of my life that seemed simpler, more innocent. for that i appreciate and love them still.

consider this a shout out to the 'rat pack'!


he's dating someone...what?

this week i...

finally got my gross.slash.gigantic mole removed after 22 years!
almost quit my job 4 times.
did some theraputic shopping.
finally redeemed my iTunes gift card from Russell...thanks boss!
got my own email address at work!
went grocery shopping for the first time in months
made dinner for the first time in months.
finally did my laundry!
blogged a bit...go me!
only had take out once!
didn't clean my room.

so that was a fun week in review. my sister went to Hawaii without me and left me all alone with my dad. for some this would not be a problem, but when your dad is slipping to the dark side of dementia...it is a bit of a different story. reminding him to eat at regular times and answering his favorite question...'is idol on tonight?'. telling him the same thing about 10 times over the course of half an hour. it can get a little draining and if you know me...you will know that i am not the most patient person. i lose my cool a lot and with my dad it is even harder to keep my irritation and anger under wraps! i know the lord only gives us what we can handle, and i am learning that the lord is uber optimistic! i guess i can jot this all down as life experience. i am learning to give my dad a little slack...it must be really hard to have your 20 something year old daughters tell you repeatedly that you can't drive. or that it must really suck to spend your days wandering around a big house with nothing to do and nowhere to go. after living a semi independent life for 55 years and being reduced to asking for rides friday night to have a social life is a HUGE transition for anyone. all i can say is right now i am so grateful for my health and hope with all my heart that his dementia isn't genetic! life is fun!

i went shopping, so it will all get better in time.


rip mark and mirabella

today i suffered a dear loss...4 of my really great and reliable eyeshadows took a dive off my counter today and exploded all over my bathroom floor. i didn't know whether to cry cause i was so sad or cry cause i had to now clean up a gigantic and very powdery mess! anyway i cleaned it up with plenty of wet toilet paper and good old fashioned hard work.
i know this may not seem like much of a loss to anyone else, but what i have realized this week is that i am sort of high maintenance. i know i said it. others had told me for years...even my dear bishop! but i sort of am. my saving grace is that i wasn't always this way. yes i was a tom boy in my youth. which surprises people, but what surprises me is that i was a tom boy until i was 19 or 20! yes i know...we watched home movies my sister made when she first got married. these movies dated back to 1999! these days included ugly flipped out hair, overalls and fleece vest via old navy! it was a great time for fashion and hair. anyway on one occasion of being filmed it was thanksgiving and i was wearing the afore mention fleece vest, baby blue, and jeans that were torn to the knee cause i liked it that way, and adidas. we were playing basketball and my hair was pulled tightly straight back in a pony that was hideous! and the weird thing is i was actually good at the game of speed me and my family were playing. then i remembered the time i was playing church ball and got a technical foul for shoving a girl who was a foot taller than me. what! she fell all on top of me what would you have done?
so that was fun. anyway now i have a serious problem on my hands...i think my hair stopped growing! it has been 3 months since i chopped it and i think it is the same length! see what i mean...these pictures were taken within the last week...
i swear it is the exact same length as in january...stupid slow growing hair!
oh and general conference was great. i watched both sessions today and did not fall asleep once! that is pretty good for me. my mom would be so proud of me.


chicken tender meal

Okay lots of exciting things lately! I got a new job! Well same company just a bit of a promotion! I now do customer service for Shade Clothing! I am uber excited to start all my new responsibilities once I learn the new SAP system...which may be the death of me! And just as exciting...I went to a Jazz game! I know those who know me may think I am playin...but no! I really did! It was so much fun! After I spent
13 bucks for dinner, the game wasn't that bad. My favorite player is Carlos Boozer...simply cause his last name is Boozer and it makes me laugh a little! But then I also realized his jersey number is 5 which is my favorite number! It was meant to be for sure! Anyway turns out he is not bad at basketball either!
So all in all life is great! I got a promotion and I went to a Jazz game!
Oh and I love my Boyfriend Tees!


let's hope negative shall we

i was thinking today...is it awkward for everyone involved if you mention a get together to someone as if you already invited them, but really hadn't. that has to be a little awkward for the inviter and a little awkward for the invitee too. not that it really matters in the long run...it is just a little funny and a little awkward all at the same time. just a thought

and i have learned this week that patience sucks and i have little to none at all! sometimes that anticipation of something kills me and i just want things to happen now and not wait! wait it out people will say, but you know what...that is is like saying to a junkie 'just quit cold turkey...you can do it!' yeah right is what i say to you happy and optimistic people.

best part of anything lately was my easter present from my mom! the book entitled you can heal your life! i can't remember who wrote it, cause quite frankly i didn't look.slash.care...anyway she believes that we cause every illness that we encounter in your lives. she says that our thoughts bring disease and illness to ourselves. sort of a little bit like the secret but sugar coated and bright hearts on the cover. so...she says that having thoughts like i have a fear of growing up brought on my dad's muscular dystrophy...and his 3 brothers too i guess. nothing to do with a genetic mutation of which i am a carrier. or that leukemia is brought to you by having a thinking of what's the point....or the cataracts my brother was born with was from all his thoughts in the womb of the world being a dark place...crazy to finally figure out what causes so many things in the world...so if you have any medical questions...let me know and i can reference my book to give you a new thought process!


it's laundry day

i have come to the conclusion that being an adult sucks!

remember when you were a kid and you wished you could stay up as late as the adults. cause in your mind you fantasized about adults doing uber cool things when you finally went to bed. well now i am an adult---well sort of i guess---and staying up late only brings me boredom. i did all the things i needed.slash.wanted to do and now i am bored out of my mind...why not go to bed...well that is a complicated story and would only bore you.

alas here i am blog stalking and eating ice...which i usually don't do.

i am however not bored at the idea of me finally getting a flippin pedicure tomorrow morning at ten...thanks to shannon and loving me enough to invite me in meeting steph...go steph.