i don't know...i must bruise easy.

have you ever broken your nail at that point where it is way too short, but you have to cut off the rest of it at that 'too short' stage cause you can't have a crooked nail...heaven forbid! well i know you have cause it is inevitable that it happens at some point in you life. why can't we just leave it alone and let it heal itself? well if you are like me, there is not chance that you are leaving the sucker alone!
or like when you have that gigantic blemish on your chin...you are going to squeeze the shiz out of that little bugger cause you want it gone! and no matter how hard and how much it hurts, you aren't going to stop until all the crap is out of that tiny little clogged pore.
the point is that we all do things that hurt so. sometimes we can't breath and tears stream from our eyes without invitation. why? cause we are human and apparently we learn from experience and mistakes...well some of us learn from mistakes, i happen to have a slow learning curve with most of mine. learning/growth/change we can't escape. it will come no matter the circumstances and our social status.
it only took me 22 years 10 months and 10 days to realize. go me!


here we go...

Why is it that everything I do directly affects everyone in my bubble. I thought that I had an understanding with all those in my bubble that I am rarely serious and to never take me as such! I hate confrontation, I can't stand contention, and would rather die than have someone close to me mad at me! I am for the most part a happy and nice person and want others to feel the same. I have never committed murder, I have never committed adultery and I have never done drugs or had a drink of alcohol a day in my life! By many standards I am a good person, I have my flaws and made too many mistakes to remember! With that said...PLEASE stop thinking my life.slash.world revolves around you and your life! While I may care about you and wish good things for you...I will at the end of the day have my best interests in mind. I am a solo rider, like on Never Been Kissed when Josie_Drew Barrymore_is about to ride the Ferris wheel alone and the operator yells 'lonely rider'...that's me! I like being by myself every so often to think and breath! I am sorry that I can't take on all of your problems and lift you up when you fall all the time cause I have just as much to handle as you! And for the record this is one of those rare times when I am serious...crazy I know.

With that said...Utah has the weirdest weather! Snow on April 24th...sick is all I can say! But you know where there's not snow...St. George! Thanks Shannon for taking tomorrow off for the both of us, don't worry I alphabetized the returns.exchanges. You're welcome.


it's pathetic...

i honestly can eat a whole pan of rice krispie treats by myself! in one sitting!


boo 9 o'clock

today as i was eating a piece of two layer rainbow chip cake with rainbow chip frosting...i was reminded of the worst birthday i ever had that actually turned out okay. me and my friends becca and aimee had a crazy experience on my 13th birthday. without going into too much detail let's just say filling out a police report on the morning of your 13th birtday is not a fun thing to do! so after to cheer us up, we decided to make a cake...and since it was my birthday we had an excuse. well our friend jessie's mom rachel makes the best chocolate cake and frosting ever! so used the recipe to make a double layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting...it looked like the cake on matilda, except a bit smaller. it was so good! it really did make the day change radically! it is not until now that i appreciate that time in melissa's kitchen making.slash.eating that ridiculously delicious cake. i am realizing that even though life sucks sometimes...good friends and chocolate can ease over anything! thinking now of those friends...we all have made so many different decisions that have led us to various parts of life and the country. i hold a special place in my heart for each of them, and probably always will. they help me remember a part of my life that seemed simpler, more innocent. for that i appreciate and love them still.

consider this a shout out to the 'rat pack'!


he's dating someone...what?

this week i...

finally got my gross.slash.gigantic mole removed after 22 years!
almost quit my job 4 times.
did some theraputic shopping.
finally redeemed my iTunes gift card from Russell...thanks boss!
got my own email address at work!
went grocery shopping for the first time in months
made dinner for the first time in months.
finally did my laundry!
blogged a bit...go me!
only had take out once!
didn't clean my room.

so that was a fun week in review. my sister went to Hawaii without me and left me all alone with my dad. for some this would not be a problem, but when your dad is slipping to the dark side of dementia...it is a bit of a different story. reminding him to eat at regular times and answering his favorite question...'is idol on tonight?'. telling him the same thing about 10 times over the course of half an hour. it can get a little draining and if you know me...you will know that i am not the most patient person. i lose my cool a lot and with my dad it is even harder to keep my irritation and anger under wraps! i know the lord only gives us what we can handle, and i am learning that the lord is uber optimistic! i guess i can jot this all down as life experience. i am learning to give my dad a little slack...it must be really hard to have your 20 something year old daughters tell you repeatedly that you can't drive. or that it must really suck to spend your days wandering around a big house with nothing to do and nowhere to go. after living a semi independent life for 55 years and being reduced to asking for rides friday night to have a social life is a HUGE transition for anyone. all i can say is right now i am so grateful for my health and hope with all my heart that his dementia isn't genetic! life is fun!

i went shopping, so it will all get better in time.


rip mark and mirabella

today i suffered a dear loss...4 of my really great and reliable eyeshadows took a dive off my counter today and exploded all over my bathroom floor. i didn't know whether to cry cause i was so sad or cry cause i had to now clean up a gigantic and very powdery mess! anyway i cleaned it up with plenty of wet toilet paper and good old fashioned hard work.
i know this may not seem like much of a loss to anyone else, but what i have realized this week is that i am sort of high maintenance. i know i said it. others had told me for years...even my dear bishop! but i sort of am. my saving grace is that i wasn't always this way. yes i was a tom boy in my youth. which surprises people, but what surprises me is that i was a tom boy until i was 19 or 20! yes i know...we watched home movies my sister made when she first got married. these movies dated back to 1999! these days included ugly flipped out hair, overalls and fleece vest via old navy! it was a great time for fashion and hair. anyway on one occasion of being filmed it was thanksgiving and i was wearing the afore mention fleece vest, baby blue, and jeans that were torn to the knee cause i liked it that way, and adidas. we were playing basketball and my hair was pulled tightly straight back in a pony that was hideous! and the weird thing is i was actually good at the game of speed me and my family were playing. then i remembered the time i was playing church ball and got a technical foul for shoving a girl who was a foot taller than me. what! she fell all on top of me what would you have done?
so that was fun. anyway now i have a serious problem on my hands...i think my hair stopped growing! it has been 3 months since i chopped it and i think it is the same length! see what i mean...these pictures were taken within the last week...
i swear it is the exact same length as in january...stupid slow growing hair!
oh and general conference was great. i watched both sessions today and did not fall asleep once! that is pretty good for me. my mom would be so proud of me.


chicken tender meal

Okay lots of exciting things lately! I got a new job! Well same company just a bit of a promotion! I now do customer service for Shade Clothing! I am uber excited to start all my new responsibilities once I learn the new SAP system...which may be the death of me! And just as exciting...I went to a Jazz game! I know those who know me may think I am playin...but no! I really did! It was so much fun! After I spent
13 bucks for dinner, the game wasn't that bad. My favorite player is Carlos Boozer...simply cause his last name is Boozer and it makes me laugh a little! But then I also realized his jersey number is 5 which is my favorite number! It was meant to be for sure! Anyway turns out he is not bad at basketball either!
So all in all life is great! I got a promotion and I went to a Jazz game!
Oh and I love my Boyfriend Tees!