2.27.2011

home alone

so we all remember that one time that my roommates took a road trip without me because i chose a profession that mandates i sign over my soul and every saturday for the rest of my life? oh wait...that was just this weekend. sorry to confuse you.

yes my two wonderful roommates decided on an impromptu road trip to clear their minds and to 'get away' for a while. granted they just went to manti. but the fact is this. i need to clear my mind and 'get away' for a while too. why couldn't they have planned this over the first weekend in april when i will actually have a saturday off because i requested it so that i don't have another panic attack.

yeah i had a panic attack a few weeks ago, it was awesome! it mostly consisted of hot flashes, an elephant sitting on my chest, a dreadful fear that i was in fact crazy and not being able to breath very well. this was brought on by the news of my ward splitting and realizing that my chances on finding 'the one' in my ward were cut in half...from 20 down to 10. it was also brought on by the fact that all i have done lately is work everyday, come home and sleep. only to wake up and work all over again. it's a depressing life and a very fearful life as well. who can rest when there is a chance that you could have a panic attack at any moment. *i hope that you all realize that i am in fact not crazy and i am totally OVER exaggerating my panic attack. it was mild and i was calm within minutes. but i did try to convince my roommate that it was a blood clot instead. i am funny like that.*

i hope that you realize that i am only kidding with the whole 'finding the one' crap. i am SO not into the handful of boys in my ward. sitting next to 'bird boy' last week was enough for me. although i may bring candy again to bribe people to sit with me while my roommates are gone. the roomies weren't too keen on the idea of me skipping out on church due to lack of their presence. it wasn't a good enough excuse i guess. so tomorrow will be a flashback to 1 year and 3 months ago when i came to the vast land of pleasnt grove and ventured {for approximately 20 minutes} to a new ward house about 5 minutes away all by my lonesome and for the first time in 4.5 years i was the new girl in a sea of weekly new girls.

so wish me luck and if there is anyone reading this before 11:15 am, and if you also feel inclined to make me breakfast before i head off visiting teaching, that would be much appreciated. thanks y'all.

two more things...1: last night i had a dream that i made out with jo from teen mom 2, kailyn's ex and baby daddy. it was random, but of all the baby daddies he is my favorite, so that may be why. maybe i shouldn't admit to watching that.
2: if you need something fun to look at, google panic attack images. hilarious. my favorite was the yawning cat. classic peg.

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