orange peels

so last night i had a dream that jw text me and said: 'i just got back into town, we should get together.' then i woke up and it wasn't real. then i was sad. i think i miss jw. is it possible to miss something you never really had in the first place? can you miss the sound of someones voice when you only knew it for a short time? can you miss someones squint as they are looking into the sun while driving? can you miss their hugs when you've only shared a few?

i can see how this could sound stalkerish, but i promise i am not a stalker. i just think i am thinking too much. of just too tired.

so last night i went to anthropologie and finally broke down and bought something that i have wanted for a very long time but never allowed myself to purchase.

the fabric 'A' on my wall is a lovely addition to my room i believe. i have seen these there forever and i just love it. i had to refrain from buying all the letters of my name. i figured that would look very kiddish and a little vain. and let's face it, i am not vain at all. and hanging this and the picture to the left, gave me another chance to use my hammer and nails that i purchased a while back. yes i own my very own hammer.

once when i was little i hit my brother matt on the head with a hammer. this is the story...back in the day, my mom was a medical transcriptionist. this meant that she would take to the doctor's notes, type them up, save it to a disk and bring it back to the doctor's office. i remember always going to the doctor's office with her and waiting in the car or sneaking out and running on the multiple pathways between buildings, which now that i look back, what were we thinking 'sneaking' out of the car and running around. it's a wonder we were never snatched up! well on this particular day my mom left us in the car and ran in to make her drop off and the lady's at the office were telling my mom what good kids we were to just wait patiently in the car for her. well back in the car my brother made me mad and to this day i can't remember why, probably cause i wanted the front seat or something. but in my young mind i figured the best way to get what i wanted was to hit him on the head with a hammer. well i did, he ran into the office and dashed the office lady's dreams of us as perfect children.

well i think we all learned an important lesson today...i miss jw and it feels like a hammer hitting me in the head. the end.

i know that was a crap lesson to learn but it is 2 hours past my bedtime.