seriously

i have been thinking a lot about choices.

it makes me so sad how some people can make seemingly insignificant choices, yet they end up becoming monumental changes in their lives. whether it's not going to church on sunday after years of membership, or someone choosing not to call you. the choices made affect more than just you. we have become such a selfish species. we think so highly of ourselves to think that we are the masters of our own destinies. but we should know and remember that there is a much bigger hand playing a part in this dance we call life and we also need to pay attention to those toes we are stepping on as we drunkenly waltz across the dance floor. why do we throw away everything we have believed and lived our whole lives...just to be accepted or loved? there is a beauty in patience. just because it hasn't worked out yet...doing things the right way, doesn't mean to give up and waltz to the deep end. choice is a powerful thing, and a privilege. that is why all you can do is stand by and be a beacon of light when they decide to drift back to reality. if they ever do. sometimes the choices are irreversible and ties are cut. it's weird to think how you can care so much about someone, and then they are gone. never to be heard from or seen again. life is a funny game we play. we all picked our players and we all get the chance to pass go for a second, third or even fourth chance. i am not perfect and have made plenty of bad choices, but they have brought me to who i am today and right now...i'm not complaining. i am who i am because of all my choices whether they are good or bad. there in lies the beauty of it all.

finger condoms

i have been a huge slacker when it comes to blogging. i really need to update this more often. since wednesday night i have been watching my sister's twins, jane and sadie. they are just shy of 15 months and quite the handful! i really don't understand how people handle twins without a nanny! holy cow is all i have to say. last night i fell asleep on the couch watching tlc's say yes to the dress {which is my new favorite show} at 8:30 pm. on a freaking friday night! who does that. a girl taking care of toddler twins that's who.

mischeviously sweet jane. she'll make you think she is good...then BAM, she is pulling all your clothes out of you overnight bag and throwing them around the room!

sensitively crazy sadie. she is a rough and tumble gal, but has such a tender heart. i can't help but laugh when i get her out of her crib in the morning, she is so happy!

i really have loved spending so much time with these sweet little girls this weekend. but i am sure grateful their mom and dad come home tomorrow! they have been in disneyland for this little one's birthday!

that's right, it's halle's birthday once again. she is six years old and as hilarious as ever. her voice is the most high pitched ever when you talk to her on the phone, especially while she is at her princess birthday dinner. i think while we were on the phone ariel came to her table, which was obviously more important than talking to me so i finished our convo through her mom. i love this kid and can't believe how old she is! when i moved down here to nanny she was just a month older than the twins and i can't believe how time has flown. she will forever be one of my best buds!

i think i'm getting sick

i am blogging to you from my sister's house! i am loving the quiet of her sleeping house. i am also really loving her keyboard. it is the kind that makes the clicky noise as you type so you sound like you are typing way faster than you actually are. i love when i sound like i am typing fast.

i really just wanted to tell you all a little story of how i saw what i am most certain was a drug deal on thursday night. i had plans to meet my friend rachael at a bar called the bayou in downtown salt lake city. as i turned the corner from the bar and parallel parked...yes i can parallel park, all thanks to marianne moon on the driving range sophomore year...i noticed across the street from me a man that looked a little suspicious. he had longer dark hair that was curly. a lot of facial hair. he was wearing a dark top with camo cargo shorts and had something slung over his shoulder. upon further inspection it looked like a long gun case. sketchy. and as i glanced over in his direction he looked at me and i freaked out. i called rachael and no answer...while i was calling her i imagined him crossing the street and shooting me, which never happened. anyway...he was talking to some guy in a beat up old rabbit and i looked over just as his hand went into the car and then back out and directly into his coat pocket. yep...a drug deal. so this isn't even the weirdest part of the story. the guy in the car gets out and he is a taller guy with a windbreaker like my dad used to wear, jeans and a baseball cap. he gets out and they start talking. then a tow truck comes down on my side of the street, pauses in front of these guys and continues to drive. weird. then a little subaru pulls up and a guy in a hoodie and shorts with a bald head gets out of the driver side and then a man in a long leather coat with a cowboy hat gets out of the passenger side. a weird assortment of acquaintances if you ask me. well baldy goes up to the guy in the windbreaker shakes his hand and the windbreaker dudes immediately slides his hand in his jacket pocket after and then just as quickly removes it...another drug deal maybe? who knows. so this is where the story gets good i promise. the tow truck had pulled a u turn and was back in front of the group of men! at this point the creepy guy with what i still assume is a gun, starts taking off down the street. the cowboy hat guy comes around to the driver side of the tow truck, talks to him for a little while, and then the tow truck drives off, the two guys get back in the subaru and drive off and then the windbreaker guy starts walking off in the direction of the gun guy. leaving his car! i don't know what really went on, but this all happened in like a span of 8 minutes and just seems a little weird. maybe i just watch too many scary crime shows and my imagination just runs wild sometimes, but it was a little unsettling to watch right outside my car. the rest of the night was awesome because the bayou has some of the best food i have ever had! their hummus is amazing and i don't even like hummus! if you need a place to chill with some smooth in house jazz and some delish food...check out the bayou on state street.

i am a little late in doing this, but i just want to wish my older brother matt and my good friend jen and happy birthday yesterday! matt turned 26 and jen turned 25...i can't believe the i will be 25 next june! that is so freaking crazy and i am stressing just a little bit about that. i mean that is like a quarter of a century!