it's sort of a funny thing

i sat down to write the other night and got distracted because somehow all my playlists on itunes were gone.  they had vanished and i panicked.  as if my musical creations were the most important things in my life.  i eventually figured it out.  thank goodness.  i mean some of those playlists are like 3 years in the making.  i'm not really that pathetic, but i just really love my music.  i even used to impersonate a hipster.  like when maroon 5 became huge, i was like oh yeah i bought their album like a year ago.  i mean like who really cares that i was listening to songs about jane before everyone else?  did that mean that i was infinitely better than them?  no.  that's the answer you were looking for.  

so today, or i mean yesterday, was my last saturday of unemployment.  on monday i will begin my new job and i can't lie.  i . am . nervous !  it feels a little like the first day of school.  thoughts like...will i make any friends, will i get lost, will i like the teacher/manager...flood my mind and i am absolutely certain that i will be a hot mess sunday night trying to sleep and pretend like i'm not nervous.  the good news is that the first day of a new job is like the first day of school in the sense that it's a lot of paperwork and touring.  you get a feel for the management and the staff much like you get a feel of your homeroom teacher.  you go over the expectations of you as an employee much like your expectations as a student. you size up the other employees like you do your classmates.  don't lie you know you do that too.  you see who the class clown is, the suck-up, the floater, the stoner and the boozer.  you see what cliques are in place and try to understand their importance to the well being of the society that is the workplace.  and sometimes, just sometimes you still feel like you are the smallest being in the solar system for about 2 months and eat lunch in the bathroom or your car.  i really am hoping and praying that it's not the latter.  

in the movie charlie bartlett a boy named charlie becomes well liked and dare i say popular among his peers by selling them prescription drugs that he gets from his family's on call psychiatrist.  in a conversation with his mom he tells her that for once he is the guy that people want to know/meet.  her reply is 'maybe there's more to high school than being well-liked.'  he asks what and she pauses and says 'nothing comes to mind'.  i think this also applies to working.  i learned in my last job that being the favorite meant the difference between having a job and well, not having a job.  i was well liked by almost everyone, just not the people that mattered apparently.  shortly after losing my job i was telling my sister the dirty details and she was sorry for my loss, but reassured me that no matter where i went there would be a favorite, that's just how life is.  very sympathetic that katie.  

well wish me luck.