tell me lies and i'll justify them

i went home this weekend. i felt older than i have felt in a really long time. i saw kids that i watched over ten years ago and for some reason i expected them to still be 2...not 12. i always felt like i was such a fun babysitter that i obviously made a huge impact on their lives, but in fact they have not clue who i even am. oh well. the point is that it is funny how i have lived my life and still expect everything around me to remain the same. none of my friends should be married, or have kids. we should still be making lame movies in which i star as the disgusting shop keeper. we should still be playing 10 across on the trampoline, fighting in becca's backyard, running from jen's older than dirt dog, or sitting in staci's hot tub, all while pining over jessie's older brother. okay maybe that last one was just me, but who's keeping track? the cul.de.sac was the center of our childhood existence. the many neighborhood games that would go well into the dark hours of the night and yearning for the ice cream truck to make it's merry tune down the street. going to and from everywhere via 'the shortcut'. which started out as a hole at the top of a chain link fence we would slither through, into what slowly became a non existent fence and a steep hill with rocks as semi steps. you always knew where to meet up if you were gallivanting to the gas station or traipsing to the pool. summer always reminds me of those endless days. sure we fought like obama and clinton, but we all grew up and now i have a new respect for each of those girls. becca for her independence, jen for her maternal skills, staci for her knowing who she is and jess for the compassionate being she is. we all started as mean little girls, and now etching our own little corner of the world. making our mark on this world however we can and still being able to look back and smile. we did have some fun...and that is what keeps us connected.